A Night Scene (etheree)

Beautifully written!

Finding and attempting forms for the first time is quite exciting! I read this and smiled, because this is a great exercise and a great etheree. I've missed challenging myself on forms and seeing what works and what doesn't.

Best parts to me: your use of "laments", I find it such a poetic word and one that holds such depth. I also loved the "silver streams" and "charcoal clouds". Fantastic imagery here! Your use of "litter" was interesting, because it's often a word that I read in almost a negative light. And here, I took it as describing its presence being everywhere, not something you can stop.

My only critique really is the last two lines. I felt "big, deep, grey sky" felt a bit too simplistic if that makes sense, and using "through" again maybe added to the line not flowing well enough for me. The last line read like an appreciation of the simple things, the peaceful night, and almost like an exhale, a way to relax and just live in the present moment of the quiet night. On the other hand, I felt a little let down because it relied on describing, when your earlier lines did more showing rather than telling, and put me in the atmosphere. It DID "close" the piece so to speak, I just thought it wasn't as strong as it could have been. Just my opinion though, I enjoyed this poem nonetheless and can't wait for you to share more!

The great owl cries, "Be careful, you're standing on my foot!"

Etheree is a good form, it's versatile and pleasing to the eye. Well done on this, your first one!

Haha, thank you, everyone!

Beautiful xx