Comments : home now

  • 3 months ago

    by Star

    I think I said this before, but your short writes have something special about them. This also feels like a chorus of a good song; you can easily memorize ir and has a beautiful rhythm. It’s like I’ve been singing it in my mind before.

    I hope this is eligible for nomination next Monday!

    • 3 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thank you, Star. I enjoy compact poetry that punches despite its brevity, if that makes sense. Aegis (a guy on-site) is a master at these short pieces.
      Take care.

  • 3 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    When you post these shorter poems, they still surprise me. Because I don't necessarily "expect" brevity from you, and it makes it that more impactful. I think I may have mentioned it before, like Star, and it always feel even more unique (though your pieces already are). I physically exhaled reading this piece, and immediately felt more relaxed. It reaffirmed for me that home is not necessarily constricted to one thing. Sometimes, it changes. Sometimes, it's found in people. It should not make us feel like prison. And once we find what home means to us, where we can relish in the lack of chaos, it's a relief.

    • 3 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thank you so much, MA. I'm glad you took something from this.

  • 3 months ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Here's a thing: reversing the text:

    --

    how free

    how peaceful

    life never showed me how weightless you could be -

    nestled gently in a breeze.
    I became so much lighter and
    dusted down of blood and loss,

    • 3 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Ah, I was waiting for someone to notice that :)
      Clever, Michael and I have to be honest, I never would have seen it and it works rather well.

  • 2 months ago

    by Fray Bluestorm

    Wow, Uncle Ben! Your poetry is amazing! :)

  • 2 months ago

    by Em

    Ben,
    The title 'home now' speaks to me of loss and I often wonder how life would be like for me dear, wonderful mother hadn't lost her fiest child at aged just one month as he'd have been severely disabled but there has been things that have happened that no one can explain and I know, deep in my heart, that it's him making a joke and telling us he's watching over us for example once when I was going through a really difficult time back when I was 15 a pen got thrown at me and no one was around but I just knew... It's so weird these things happen but, they happen for a reason, I'm positive. Sorry I digress.
    dusted down of blood and loss,
    I became so much lighter and
    nestled gently in the breeze.
    ^
    Now, with this first stanza I'm wondering whether my presumptions from the title was correct at all as this seems as though from this 'loss' you're as light as a feather, so it's no loss at all if anything it's a relief so it makes me wonder if it's kind of about a suicide or something of the like.. Though again, just a presumption especially with the words 'blood and loss.'
    life never showed me how weightless you could be -

    how peaceful

    how free.
    ^
    The last lines, do make me feel my last presumption is kind of correct with the use of the words 'weightless,' peaceful' and 'free' and how 'life never showed you' these kinds of things therefore, pointing to life having been difficult for you, making you want not want to be here and I know this is just a poem but life for many of us is trying, it hurts and life is never meant to be easy, unfortunately.

    A very thought provoking piece and one that resonates with many of us, I guess.

    Take care,
    Em x