Hello Keira, firstly I'm glad to see this is nomiated. The imagery you portray is one of a young girl whose life may not have been the easiest so far but one who is old beyond her years and tries to find the positive in every bad situation, I think I'll take a leaf out of your book. If you don't mind sharing?
Just a note - should 'way' be 'weigh' here?
The soft rhyme and flow, are really good! Beautifully written!
You know something, I can’t wait to see you experiment more with your words. I believe we’ll be even more blown away with what you write sometime in the near future :)
I like this poem. It speaks of resilience and hope. In a world where we have had to dig deep for the light, it's reassuring that just around the corner there's a golden sun.
I've edited your poem below, I hope you don't mind, just a tweak here and there. Take care.
Ice might freeze your aching heart,
And tidal waves threaten your mast.
Thunder will rack your happy thoughts,
Lightening will chase until you're caught.
Hale will dash all hopes and dreams
And rain will fray your strongest seams.
Snow might try to weigh you down
earthquakes will push you to the ground -
But when you're lost and want to run,
Behind dark clouds waits golden sun.
I love the way this poem uses the weather to portray feelings, building up tension line by line as if a storm is approaching only to break on that final line as the sun comes out. I love it.
Just one question though. Should it be hail not hale? To be hale is to be fit and well and I'm not sure that works in this line. Just a thought.