Comments : A Change Of Weather

  • 1 month ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Great rhyming and imagery. Loved the weather theme. Milly x

  • 1 month ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Proud to see this nominated, Keira. Inspirational, and we could all do with a bit of inspiration at the moment.
    Love Dad

  • 1 month ago

    by Keira Pickard

    Thank you both so much!

  • 1 month ago

    by Walter

    This flows beautifully and has brightened up my day :)

  • 1 month ago

    by Scott Cole

    I really like this great job

  • 1 month ago

    by Em

    Hello Keira, firstly I'm glad to see this is nomiated. The imagery you portray is one of a young girl whose life may not have been the easiest so far but one who is old beyond her years and tries to find the positive in every bad situation, I think I'll take a leaf out of your book. If you don't mind sharing?
    Just a note - should 'way' be 'weigh' here?

    Take care and good luck for the week ahead,
    Em x

    • 1 month ago

      by Keira Pickard

      Thank you so much - take as many leaves as you like :) thank you for spotting out my mistake, I'm always doing that! X

  • 1 month ago

    by Maud

    I love the way you use weather to portray our lives. This is beautiful in every extent of the word. And of course, there is the silver lining. An instant favorite.

  • 1 month ago

    by Star

    The soft rhyme and flow, are really good! Beautifully written!
    You know something, I can’t wait to see you experiment more with your words. I believe we’ll be even more blown away with what you write sometime in the near future :)

  • 1 month ago

    by Everlasting

    Awesome. Love the ending. But I specially like how by reading every line, one can sense a build up of encouragement coming until at the ending line one is greeted with the “ah ha” moment. Well done.

  • 1 month ago

    by Keira Pickard

    Thank you both so much!

  • 1 month ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Sorry I'm late to this. :)

    I like this poem. It speaks of resilience and hope. In a world where we have had to dig deep for the light, it's reassuring that just around the corner there's a golden sun.

    I've edited your poem below, I hope you don't mind, just a tweak here and there. Take care.

    Ice might freeze your aching heart,
    And tidal waves threaten your mast.
    Thunder will rack your happy thoughts,
    Lightening will chase until you're caught.
    Hale will dash all hopes and dreams
    And rain will fray your strongest seams.
    Snow might try to weigh you down
    earthquakes will push you to the ground -
    But when you're lost and want to run,
    Behind dark clouds waits golden sun.

    • 1 month ago

      by Keira Pickard

      Thank you! I like some of the changes :)

  • 1 month ago

    by cassie hughes

    I love the way this poem uses the weather to portray feelings, building up tension line by line as if a storm is approaching only to break on that final line as the sun comes out. I love it.
    Just one question though. Should it be hail not hale? To be hale is to be fit and well and I'm not sure that works in this line. Just a thought.

    • 1 month ago

      by Keira Pickard

      Thank you! I'm full of typos and mistakes :) thank you for pointing out ' hail'.

  • 3 days ago

    by Jack

    I love this poem!