I've seen this before in our house and I can't remember where. I think it might have been on a piece of paper while you were writing it , but I can't help feeling that that was ages ago. I think you've been working on this for a while?
Aside from that, I'm thoroughly annoyed. The English sonnet you set me to write for work went disasterously - as I'm sure you'll find out :) - and it's extremely irritating that you can write these without struggling with the iambic pentameter, haha.
I love the rhyming and smoothness. I'm not attempting to check the iambic pentameter to see if it's right - as I'm sure it is - as we both know I'm hopeless at it.
The description and language used is descriptive and conjures up a vivid image. It's dark, but beautifully written. The title is clever and the context is brilliant. I really enjoyed it:)