Omg, I miss your poems and those shivers they give me.
- this - . No- i have not touched anything hard besides myself since then.- I can't!
Note to self? no? that last line, the title, the numbness that's so full of pain in your words, the self-proclaimed identity and the strength that's full of weakness in every line is heart breaking. This got me emotional. I can feel this poem. You went beyond raw and as if you poured your heart out.
It may seem cliche to say how powerful it is when someone speaks and shares their truth, but it really is. Always admired and felt moved by your honesty in writing, the raw emotions that can be so incredibly hard to process. The line breaks in this were perfect, especially with the mention of sobriety and the ups and downs of just trying to survive. That last line made my heart ache but also made me want to smile, as someone quite familiar with those notes and ideations too. The note about Hot Topic also felt too real, since I can remember shopping at a store and wanting to try on clothes that were labeled in another section, where men's and women's literally divided the place, if people would judge me, though clothes are clothes and a lot of the judgement and criticism was within my own mind.
I love this piece so much and am really glad you posted this. I hope nothing but a sense of freedom, even in the difficult moments, so long as you are yourself and find peace :)
Edit: forgot to add, I think there's a typo in this line: "people that couldn't sallow their own egos to"
should be "swallow"?
This is one of those poems that I read from you that doesn’t sound like a list. I like the honesty in this write. It sounds sincere and that speaks to me the most. Thank you for sharing. As always all the best. Keep on writing.