As a man of faith and strong conviction of my faith, I must that first off, I love your choice in the word for the title, but the poem differs from what I expected. Your poem is relatable even for me. I want to highlight this lovely piece of poetry with just one Biblical connotation of what you are saying my sister. So I will be brief, in the first book of Kings, the prophet Elijah felt similar then to how you feel right now when he went to the wilderness after Ahab and Jezebel put a hit out on him. It's fine with me that you do not believe He exits sis, but you do have a gift, some may say an anointing or a ministry. I love this poem and I am going to make it my first FAVORITE and give your second like, because it moves me.
As someone who was also forced to be active in religion as a child, I understand how it feels to not believe or lose that faith over time. The Bible teaches things that, as a child, I believed but now I would never agree in.
The part that hit me hardest was the personal touch, of what made you lose that faith. Also, I agree in the "No karma for the wicked" line; we now see that in every aspect of our life.