Comments : Still burning (for you)

  • 8 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    By leaving the word "I" on its own shows the point of view of the writer. How the writer feels, how she alone stands alone..."I". There is loneliness in that single I which stands apart from the stanza.

    I wanted you to hear the depth, the breathless poetry, of my heart.

    ^^Simply adore this line! As a reader I can feel those unsaid words, emotions all swelled up but love is not ready to receive or hear it.

    I
    don't love my silences, anymore,
    when they hide me from
    you.

    ^^My...my don't we all get killed by that silence and then feel the immense regret! This ending got me and its a message to the readers-never be silent for certain things have to be said when it needed to be said. Otherwise regret will only turn into self hatred.

    Liked the read...take care.

  • 8 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Judging Comment

    This piece has a unique flow to it and a wonderful sense of style-infused voice. The tone is so heartbreaking and yet manages to be something completely beautiful. MaryAnne puts us in her shoes to enough of a degree for us to imagine the scene and yet keeping out the details that would make this too open and uninteresting. Each stanza is started off with the word I, narrating the piece in a way, then on a separate line explains whatever she is thinking in a manipulated paragraph so to speak, which is an unusual structure to some but it brings a personality to this piece that really makes it pop that much more. And finally, the conclusion of "you" twists it and shows that the piece was more like a vent or letter to whoever she cares about so deeply. It's a wonderful way of getting something off her chest, but it's also so completely captivating that it's worth the read.