Had me worried there for a while cuz for some reason i always feel like its my job to save people
but its a rly good poem
nice job and hope everything works out for you
=)

Its a good poem. Its very discriptive, very insightful, and very powerful. The gun part frightens me a little. No need to die. But its only part of the poem (I hope. if not, you can pm me if you would like to talk about it, or just someone to listen) and it has a very dramatic effect. Very well written. Nice job.

Awww... thats so deep and sad

That was so sad but u should have been focused on punctuations..
But anyway I liked ur poem..keep up the good work:) ..

All I can say is "WOW"
5/5

I agree with "with love" whenever someone talks about killing them self i feel like its my job to save tham

O my god this by far my favorite the pain, and betrayal was so powerful it was an EXPLOSION of emotions so raw it was powerful and i know how you feel love can be tragic and twisted but you just got to stay strong keep up the work! xxxx 5/5

*tears*
its like what everywoman goes through--like a tug of war
i mean i just went through it

Hope your ok, its like my poems to short simple ryhmes but some of them seemed forced but yet the entire poem flowed with good ryhme

I love it! I can relate to it; nevertheless hope you're doing ok.
keep it up.
5/5

That last line was really effective. If you had structured you're writing into stanzas, it would be more organised and easier to read, but i think it was a great poem. such tender feelings. good job!

Your poem was expressive with feelings if your profile is right these feeling should be on hold or saved for the future. I belong to a time when at your age girls were still immature and innocence was real. Now all the magic is gone and confusion reigns as TV and film have taken away the veil and answers are readily available, so I reas about lost innocence. Kids of your age know so much more than my generation. Your poem was brilliant but I think it should of been written when you are older a young girl should not let a boy or man leave his mark as you have so much more ahead of you to enjoy and savour. Hope your poem was simply a relief valve as a lot of mine are I gave you a 5/5.
Ray S (sad old man)

I like this one alot.

Was the gun aimed true?
Seems to me that it should be pointed at your own expectations.
When you accept the 'you' that comes from another, you might as well pull the trigger:
Shut it down, it belongs to another.
Keep at it; by the morning, if you live, & if your aim is true, you'll have killed the falsehoods and come into the one who is truly yourself.