A beautifully worded piece of poetry, amazing rhyme 5/5 great message in this, i think.

Keep Writing, hun
As Always,
~NinjaGirl~

For the first stanza.
You can change the word blood.
It was pretty repetative.

Turn it to crimson or something.

I have got to beat this,
But I have no idea how,

I love that line.
It's as though death is stalking you.
You can't beat the unbeatable.
But you'll die trying.

Your punctuation is off.
A lot actually.
You may want to change that.

Before I am through?
Again. Love that.

I don't care have many people,
Do you mean how may people??

Your rhythm's a bit off at some parts.
You should change that.

I thought you had the mind of someone dying.
You've caught it soo fully.
The emotions.
The selfishness and everything.

I thought this poem was well okay.
There needs to be some improvement though.
Particularly on your punctuation.

Gosh, this is so sad, i'm sorry you are going through this
wonderful poem
excelleant poem
5/5

I would have to say yes, this is something we (as a smoker, not proud, just am) have to say think of very often. there is not a day that goes by that I have not wondered when the day will come that a splat will come from my awful cough.
No words needed just wanted you to know that I know....
Linda
I rate this as a work of creative overcoming of denial

Forced rhyming and poor grammar in this piece although the story was intended to be meaningful........

I like th is poem. Very moving and emotional. I jut hope that things get better and try to stay positive.. in spite of. Well written.

Nice job... i hope this isnt true. it so i hope you get better

anyways the poem is written really well and its long but it doesnt feel like it drags on because every stanza was important

5/5

Please tell me that poem is not about you ??
The agony is drifted within each line..
Great heartbreaking poem... 5/5

I love the honesty in this poem and I adore those stanzas where the fear and insecurity really shines through.

You wrote it in a way I don't really see anywhere else in that you sort of mix the classic "lingo" of poetry with a more modern paranoia, if I can call it that. It was really refreshing to read and it bore a mix of fear, which I've said already and this feeling of not wanting to back down, which is really hard to do and even harder to get right.

Thanks for your comment on my poem "The Princess of Darkness", much appriciated. I will keep a close look at your poetry from now on.

--ares