OMG... u poem was very neatly written.. The whole poem was fantastic...each line made me crave for more.... I can think of so many situations that ur poem covers... It was deep. Good job, and I'm happy to say that it was long but thankful so, because it made sense unlike some others.. I loved da ending....OMG...
Wow!! amazing poem, i looked at it being so long and thought 'this has to be good' lol and it realli was. all the lines were great! it was such a powerful piece. lot of emotion in it also. great job! 5/5 xo.
There's a little too much repetition in here of filler words, it would be a lot easier to read if you had less.
"Here, between the light and the darkness, she is the one that rules,
Here, there is no one without mistakes, only people, fools.
The people here has been to hell, but came back again,
Praying for God to come back, saying their last amen."
"Between the light and darkness, she is one that rules,
Here, there is no one without mistakes, only fools.
People here have been to hell, came back again,
Praying for God to come back, upon their last amen."
Also, there's an error in that stanza "has" should be "have".
If you take out the filler words it cuts down the line length and improves flow.
Again, I think this was dragged out a little too long with the same ideas repeated again and again. If you mention something and then come back to it that's fine but not if it's in every third stanza.
Also, watch the "she" factor, meaning you repeat it too much.
Other than that, the idea of this is good, as all of the poems I've read of yours have been. You really are quite the story teller, kudos.
I'm going to give this a 4/5 because it took me longer than it should have to read it. It'll be interesting to see what your future work is like.