"Now she must move on with her broken life
Is she really going to be okay?
The sunshine will warm her heart
And tomorrow will be a brand new day"

I like the little bit of hope that you put into this. You worded the feelings and emotions beautifully! It is very relatable as a lot of your poems. I didn't see any mistakes. Excellent job

First of all, after a once-over, I LOVE this piece. It's emotional, and it's wonderful.

"All bottled up and full of emotion
Dropping tears like waves to the oceans"

-- Wow. I love these two lines. Beautiful imagery here, talking about the waves of the oceans.

"Inside she battles with the excruciating pain
The kind caused by heartbreak that she can't explain
Her heart continues to silently crack
As it breaks into a million pieces of black."

-- Mmk. I don't know who did which stanza's, but they all rhyme. And you said rhyming wasn't your thing? Pft! These rhymes are GREAT! Also, the word choice here in a amazing.

"After all the tears she has tried to comprehend
Nothing will drown out the thoughts of you"

-- These two lines, the second and third, are probably my favourite throughout the piece. I like the use of tears/drown & comprehend/thoughts. They just go together so well.

"Now she must move on with her broken life
Is she really going to be okay?
The sunshine will warm her heart
And tomorrow will be a brand new day"

-- I love how the poem takes a turn for the better here. It's saying that she's going to get over the guy who broke her heart, and will look at life in a more positive way.

"To this day, the tears have dried
And in her life she no longer has to hide
The thoughts of you no longer linger inside
for she wants them gone forever and to never reside"

-- I really liked this. It was a wonderful ending. Again, I love the change from upset/hurt/sadness to happy/positive/looking forward to a new day. It's wonderful.

*Overall; I loved it, obviously. Haha. You two make a great team. Keep it up.

Five out of five.

``Briana

Love this! so emotional and heart wrenching. very good write,

5/5

~Toni

Well, it was an excellent collab you and james have done. I don't actually know how hard is it to write a collab - because I have never written one before.

Anyway, even though the poem was written by two people. It was very good, the flow was good. The emotions of the two writers really connect. Good job. The ending was superb, it really made a big impact to me.

My favorite stanza would be:

"Inside she battles with the excruciating pain
The kind caused by heartbreak that she can't explain
Her heart continues to silently crack
As it breaks into a million pieces of black."

- the words chosen in this stanza were perfect.

5/5 from me!

This was great!!!!!!!!!
so so good
Now she must move on with her broken life
Is she really going to be okay?
The sunshine will warm her heart
And tomorrow will be a brand new day

was my fav part 5/5

Such a beautiful write =] Excellent job!
The emotions and imagery used in this piece were brilliant!, The flow in each stanza was also perfect and the rhyming scheme was great.

Both of you are very good writters, well done!

A VERY NICE POEM.URS WORDINGS R MARVELLOUS.URS EXPRESSION ARE EXCELLENT.REALLY A NICE POEM

OmG I just LOVE IT !!!!
you two wrote this perfectly, a beautiful collab

Inside she battles with the excruciating pain
The kind caused by heartbreak that she can't explain
Her heart continues to silently crack
As it breaks into a million pieces of black.

This stanza is so heart-wrenching, very good work !!

Keep it up =)

I really liked this