I really liked your poem right up towards the last verse and then it fell apart. Even though it maybe true I felt it kind of squished your poem. Up to that point though I liked your words and thoughts very much. keep up the good works.

Ah yes.....the undercurrent of sadness that streams thtrough all beauty...
still.....we Must look for, and See, the beauty....
As we think so we become........
Your poetic insights border on profound......
I salute you..
13????????????????????

* I must say before I get started on commenting each stanza, that..this poem reminds me of the book Twilight. (: Heard of it? I'm almost positive you have.*

Swirling breezes whisper to the clouds
* I wish I could've thought of a line like this. Souds so nicely, the way you put it together. Nice job! [claps hands] *
Teasing the sun with a simple blow
Picking up the last forgotten leaves
Silver sparkles from natural gems
Illuminating the field of laughter and hope

* Oh my goodness. "Illuminating the field of laughter and hope" that was a completely out of this world line. I see..you're creative. I know you're creative. You have a nice mind. I want it. Lol [Maybe some commas and periods] *

Pink covering the evening sky lightly
Orange and coral highlighting beauty
A chill begins to take its dutiful place
Dew drops forming of rose buds
Proudly stars begin to take their place

* I see a couple things different in this poem, you have 5 lines. I always seen and wrote mine with four, or two. But you have 5, that's really different. I like it though. Another thing, this stanza; a sunset. It reminds me of a beautiful sunset that I expeienced in the Bahamas sitting on the shore, pondering in my thoughts. I really like this stanza, it makes me think. Lol As you can see. *

The moon comes into view full
Reflecting the sun's forgotten light
Lighting up the lonely dark forest
Where crickets sing and wolves howl
Introducing that nights prowl

*Ooooh I knew it. Once again, the word choice knocked me off my feet, completely. I have a fascination with words. Whooa. I really do. And this; this poem, girl all these words speak for themselves. *

Darkness fades into a light navy
Preparing for a long sleepy rest
Flowers wake up with a pretty dance
Moist pieces of grass start to grow
As birds chirp themselves content

* "As birds chirp themselves context".....OMG! I loved that part. I'm speechless right now. Seriously. I'm like, at a loss for words at the moment. *

Purple skies fade to a shade of yellow
Light ready to entrance man-kind
Night owls hoot one last time in warning
Warmth creeps upon the ground
The moon gives the world a last wink

* I give the moon a wink everynight. Well, everytime I can see it. :) This last stanza was absolutely my favorite. *

All in all you did a wonderful job putting this poem together. The flow and word choice was .... fabulous. And the theme was great. omething different for me to read, and I enjoyed it. Most definitely.

5/5

-Rys

"purple skies fade to the shade of yellow"
Very beutiful imagery
I love it
5/5

"purple skies fade to the shade of yellow"
Very beutiful imagery
I love it
5/5