It is, perhaps, a little too Daddy Mommy.
The repetition of those names in the poem I think loses some of the innocence that it's meant to hold. I'm not too sure why, but if it had less I think it'd sound more like a child.
Though you did do a good job at making it sound like a small child talking (or writing?).
And the idea of this is sweet. :)
Awww such a cute poem, very interesting way of writing, simply amazing
10 years ago
Wow. you made me want to go to the snow with my family, although i have never seen nor touched snow, the way you wrote about this piece was awesome. you put it in such a short piece but really got the message across on how much fun it was for you. very nice piece. 5/5
This is cute, I'm not to big on friendship, or family poetry, but this wasn't bad at all... the flow was great, and the imagery was lovely. I surprisingly liked how short the stanzas were, there seemed small and innocent like the piese, your word gave the whole piece a sense of innocence, and childhood joy great job with that one... 5/5
I liked this poem, I love nature poems. Umm, line two "le's" should be "Let's". Other then that I see nothing wrong with it. This is a poem that probably almost everyone could relate to in some way. 5/5