Wow, sounds like me, without the whole dying part. The story is truely amazing. The flow is okay.

Advice: Crying in despair,
While holding on to his soft brown hair.

change the "while holding on to" to something less robotic. It sounds really forced, like u were just trying to rhyme.

The poem was very tragic and I'm extremely glad I didn't skip this one.

Please comment and Rate

Dear diary
I returned to the window, the ambulance is coming..
..wait, who is crouched by his side?
A man is tending to his bleeding wounds.
In moments he is surrounded by medics
all of them confident that this soul will be saved.
I have made up my mind that I will visit him
There is goodness in this world and I will show him
show him that the brightest thing is love
love for yourself
so let it shine bright and proud
Forever let it shine.
Amen
I watched him from my bedroom window
Sitting by the old, brown willow,
Body sprawled across the floor
He had no more worries anymore
He took the knife and slashed his face
He thought he was just a disgrace
He took the knife once more, cut his wrists
It was very quick
No more names
No more games
No more fears
And defiantly no more tears.

..sorry, I meant to delete after Amen! *blushes*

Dear diary
I returned to the window, the ambulance is coming..
..wait, who is crouched by his side?
A man is tending to his bleeding wounds.
In moments he is surrounded by medics
all of them confident that this soul will be saved.
I have made up my mind that I will visit him
There is goodness in this world and I will show him
show him that the brightest thing is love
love for yourself
so let it shine bright and proud
Forever let it shine.
Amen