Comments : Looking Beyond The Closed Door

  • 15 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "Looking beyond the closed door,
    I face my worst fear.
    The keyhole grows smaller,
    closing in on innocent eyes."

    ^^I liked the imagery and emotion in these lines, however I didn't like the use of fillers when there wasn't really a need for them. (I, you, the, etc)

    "Blood and tears stain empty walls,
    painting a mural of pain and misery."

    ^^I adore the imagery in these lines, creates some striking pictures in my mind.

    "I face my worst fear beyond the closed door,
    silencing my every breathing thought,
    what lies behind your closed door?
    Is it a fear of pain and hurt,
    committment and true love?"

    ^^I like how you admitted you face your worst fear and then asked the reader if they feared something, it made for an interesting few lines.

    "Hold onto my shaking hand,
    calm my fear that lies beyond closed doors."

    ^^I didn't like these lines, they seem weak to me whereas the rest of the poem is strong.