Comments : Memory

  • 15 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "Two hearts beating quicker,
    tugging at tired heart strings.
    Holding, pulling closer,
    wrapping fingers together."

    ^^This is beautiful, I found this opening stanza to be adorable, so sweet and moving that it pulled me into the piece, I really liked the use of "tired heartstrings."

    "Sugar and salt,
    two opposites attract.
    Blending together helplessly,
    colors blinding to eyes."

    ^^I found this stanza to be really unique, I love how you used sugar and salt, I think that worked really well here.

    "Running to your mind,
    tingles racing down nerves.
    Finding the missing jigsaw piece,
    a perfect fit in my memory. "

    ^^I'm not to sure of this..it seems weak, whereas the rest of the poem is incredibly strong throughout.

    That being said, I enjoyed this.