Comments : Forever The Darkest Angel

  • 14 years ago

    by Good Enough

    I like how this poem is written the rhyme is a little off. only the second stanza seems to be the only one tht rhymes.. all in all this peom is well described

  • 14 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "So maybe we dont always get what we want
    And not all that glitters is gold
    But I swear I'll never forget her
    I'll never loosen my hold"

    First line: "dont" should be "don't".
    Shorten some of the wording so there will be a better flow here.

    "Kuz she's the angel that fell from above
    The one that taught me how to love
    And even though she'd rather have him
    The fact that she's happy wont make me dim"

    First line: "Kuz" should be "Because".

    Fourth line: "wont" should be "won't".

    "So I'll just go on with my life
    And leave her to hers
    I'll keep writing my poems
    Living my every verse"

    Second line: I feel this line is very weak and you should reword it for better understanding, it just didn't hit me.

    "Foever the darkest Angel
    That's what I've become
    And that is a title I fear
    That I'll never escape from"

    A powerful ending, I loved the concept and wording in this piece. Well-expressed feelings throughout the poem. 4/5 from me, just a few things you can touch up on.

    Take care and God Bless!