Its a sad poem... thank god its not true, but to some it probably is. Just the fact that this really does happen to some people is heart breaking!

All in all, you did an awesome job captuing this image... great job!

Wow the imagery is so amazing it hurts. i can feel the paian. Thank god it isnt real. i loved how u kept using i wiwll not cry. Sos perfect loved it :)

Wow...what an attempt....very well written....its not totally true....but things like these do happen...the poem shows the pain..and idk what else to say..words will always fall short to praise how you've beautifully carved the image of a cruel situation into a poem....heartfelt.<3

'Neither one understands what this does to me'
`This was the only line I found to be a little on the repetitive side.

I thought you used the image and put your own unique twist on it which was great.. you didnt take the obvious and put it into your poem about how shes covering her ears from the silence.. I'm truly glad you didnt do that.. people always state the obvious.

Well done though. Very sad write but you did well with the image. :]

5/5.
Temps

I can taste the blood again
Him hitting me to punish her
Her screaming to stop him
Neither one saving me

I'm dying
But I will not cry
^^ these were the lines that made me almost cried. A very heartbreaking piece yet conveying courageousness...Sadness and pain hit me after reading this..and this makes you a great poet, it is when you are able to let the readers feel the essence of your poems..

I love it. I kinda hits home with me, but not entirely .

I love the clear patterns in this piece here. It begins with "I can . . . " then continues with a very beautiful two lines that say ". . . I will not cry" and then "Neither one . . . " and yet another ". . . I will not cry"

The first ones (I can . . . ) often explaining something simple, in a sense that you just explain something you hear from just beyond the door. What's happening in the world around you.

Next, your beautiful repetition of "I will not cry" was a great way to express emotion. It's almost like a chant to yourself, telling yourself not to break down and not to cry and yet you use the first line to show this slow breakdown.

"Neither can . . . " Is when you display the emotion, how and what each of you are doing. "Him, Her, I"

"I'm dying
But I will not cry"

^This was a perfect way to end it, dying as if the voice of this personna was coming to an end. Loved this piece.

Amazing. Very powerful and very realistic. Love it! 5/5

Wow all that came from one image? That's crazy. Very well done now that's talent. I don't think I could have wrote that much of a image. Ur relly good keep writing

I'll tell you what I think. Im glad that this is not a true story. It's to bad that some people actually have to put up with that kind of life. I really like this one. I like how you broke up the paragraphs with the "I will not cry" line. good work.

Like dang.... That was an effective piece. I got a visual though not happy but creative

I really enjoyed this one. It's a lot more on the subject of what I like to read. It's a good concept to write about but sometimes there are too many like this. But who am I to say that because I love writing thesse kind of poems. But maybe you should add something more unique to it. The repetition makes it a really great piece to read.

Soda. E>

Hey, i think this is a great poem, especially since you got all that from looking at that one image! Girl, you got talent! I think the repitition of 'i will not cry' was really effective in the sense, that it almost underlines what the image is showing. I also enjoyed the way you ended that, sad and painful ending, but really had me hooked till the very end..! I'm glad this isn't true!
Don't stope writing .. MEZi x

Deep with a nice flow and pattern. I liked this piece because while reading it, it didn't seem forced at all and it conveyed a sad message without being too overdramatic. Another 5/5.

The fact that this happens so frequently around many different countries. You've portrait just how tragic it is to some children in their day to day lives.

Amazingly written, =)