I like this one. It's deep.

Really deep and dark. Im kinda confused of the "meaning" i guess u could call it but i think thats becaouse u havent finished yet. but other than that is great. Love the darkness of it. very haunting.

victoria

A sinister story. but "who is thy?" is not a grammatically correct expression. im sure there is another rhyme you can use that rhymes with "Die"

keep trying!
~Kuro

First off, I loved the title, it was simple yet spoke a lot of depth that grabbed the reader right in.

"A stared upon a deadly mirror,"

"A stared" doesn't make sense, did you mean "I"?

Okay, this has a lot of potential and it indeed was very chilling but I think you could display your feelings and the images in a more captivating way.

"who are you?who is thy?why are
you here?and why did you die?"

The "who is thy?" part doesn't register with the reader since they don't know, maybe don't be so vague but give the reader more to imagine with. And instead of grouping them together, separate them. If that person died, how are they still here?

"as my mother told me that
story one day,i got scared and
hid away,i went upon that same
deadly mirror as i said those same
fateful words.the next thing i saw
was a man approaching me with the
knife from his fateful soul.i ran,i ran
into the fog,the next thing i new was
that my eyes turned.........to dust....."

Don't repeat "fateful" and "deadly mirror" so often because it loses its chilling touch. Also, capitalize your "i"s and don't run everything in so close to each other, it makes it harder to read with your set-up.

I loved the end when your eyes turned to dust, that was haunting, but I think you could put more imagery in. What story did your mom tell? What did this man look like? Give more of the scene and this poem could really flow well.

God bless you and take care.

The next thing i KNEW, not new.

I really liked this because it was like a story! and i think you should definitely finish writing it so i can read it again :D the suspense is killing me! So what happens to the girl?! haha

"who are you?who is thy?why are
you here?and why did you die?"
- loved this!

May i suggest ?
1st this became my fav now..so plz seperate the stanza or the couple of lines that are holding one msg or one meaning..

cause this was ddeep..clear..and kind of

Sorry lol kkind of flowing with events like tails..
5.5

Sounds finished to me. its a really good poem

I really like this one it reminds me of the movie mirrors