First let me say that I liked the poem overall but I think that it would be better off as a free verse poem. The rhyme scheme was too forced for my likes and I think that it took too much away from the point that your trying to get across. You were forced to use weaker words like CRY, SKY, VOICE, CHOICE; words that are very common and easy to rhyme. If you use a free verse, you could have used stronger words like DECISION instead of CHOICE, or I CANT SEE TO GET THROUGH THE ANGRY PASSION IN MY SOUL instead of SEE THROUGH THIS.

On a positive note, I think that you have a great rhetoric style that I love to see (I use them a lot in my writing) like REMEMBER IN FORGETTING, and SEE IN BLINDNESS. You also used very powerful words like SUCCUMB and CENSORED PAST and DULLED. Many readers are impressed with words that are not very common in writing.

I like that you ended on a rhetoric as well; that you were selfish to keep them, but unable to let them go. This showed a lot of conflict in the closing lines of the poem.