"There I laid my weatherbeaten horse to rest
on a desert by the sea of final turnings,"

"Last I found myself lulling through stones,
kicking up rocks in a frenzy of letting go,"

Wicked proof that rhyming poems can be inspired. You breathe life into this, and it's so sad and melancholy.

I'm with Britt and I am not going to leave a massive comment as I found this poem to be straight from the heart. Very touching and said. I have never known but my dad but you seem to have a deep love for yours that I could only dream of. It is true though that we must go on even when those around us fall one by one. A very mature write to say the least. Great job and keep writing.

On I Must Go
OMG...AMAzing job.
I love love love love the title..it took my attention
RIGHT away; and actually provoked
many thoughts-untill I started reading.
Yes you will always make me cry; but in a very
good way; all your poems MUST have this
emotional part; which shakes me..shakes me
deeep deep inside..

There I laid my weatherbeaten horse to rest
on a desert by the sea of final turnings,

^^before I read your footnote; I thought
the horse was your leader; well my imagination
played but after I read what you wrote" it
was way deeper and just much more touchy and
wise. "I love the 1st couple of lines; not simple
which gave me a good impression about how rich this will be.

and found I wandering at distant yearnings.
^^
mmm this is a line I truly can relate to.
I love how you worded it; nice choice of words.
distant yearnings is no bet thought provoking

A hesitant gunshot to end my giant's pain,
passing glances toward the crashing waves,
^^Jane; this is incredible and very deep.
The imagination is of high quality; of that I am sure.
here i had thoughts about tiresome..

Last I found myself lulling through stones,
kicking up rocks in a frenzy of letting go,
^^what I love about this; is how it drives us
to think through the image to catch the feeling
of your character rather than actually being told
directly. Makes the poem enjoyable and I only
had thoughts about someone almost losing hope
or feeling
fed-up

He held true to the ground with aging roots,
wrinkles that mapped out a lingering smile,
^^well age costs :) ..I love this. Very true , real
and speaks beyond the image..SO we are supposed
to take into consideration what's between the lines.

proud of the girl standing in her cowboy boots;
she had journeyed beside him for every mile.
^^^
I took mile as years over here; growing up beside him (how lucky)
and I bet he is proud.

'Daughter,' he said, 'Now you understand loss,
the power of hope and what winning can cost.
^^^this is one of the wisest things that actually
you always manage to leave (every now and then)
when you write a poem).

Someday I won't be here to watch you grow -
Someday I must stop, but on you must go.'
^^^this is where I had my tears covering my face;
it's really deep Jane; and meaningful. holds
a very strong message not only for you
but for every one of us. Well at least we can
learn from the other fathers "living" around.

I stood long and hard, my own roots digging in,
with loss in my eyes and tears filling my heart,

^^^goosebumps; more and more goosebumps..
it was expected but very well; yes very well worded.

but off in the shadows, a light bloomed therein,
and I quickly remembered, we are never apart.
^^
how impressing; glad his daughter did not forget the lesson.
Such a very meaningful poem Jane.
do you write these on purpose? lol my god..
I laugh at myself sometimes.. but seriously
it moved me; the second poem
father-son-father=daughter thing ..

well enough babbliiggg...thanks a LOT
for sharing. I very well know how to "go on".
But perhaps I forgot; thanks for reminding..

5/5

This is so well written and very moving. The rhyme was so unforced I did not notice the scheme until I read the foot note