Untitled

by Aveena   Jan 23, 2011


I tried to be nice, to be myself

But that didnt seem like it was enough

You think you know me

You got your facts wrong though

Maybe you should look again

You seem to care

But you dont bother holding out your hand

Maybe theres a reason why you're all alone

Check back the way you treat people

Theres the key

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Mohan

    Nice poem keep writing

  • 13 years ago

    by Aveena

    Thank you so much :)

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    I think you have the perfect emotions and truth to write this poem , but I think we should start helping each other out how to write a perfect poem :) so I will give you an edit version of your poem, just with some polishing. and it's up for you to like it or not..
    you can disagree I will just be giving tips on how to make a poem really beautiful simply.

    And however if you don't like the changes, make sure to change :

    didnt = didn't
    dont = don't
    theres -there's

    ^^grammar is really important for the clarity of the poem, and for us to get the real meaning behind your work :) , and if you did not take care of your poems, no one will give you the care you want..okay this is how i would change it...if it was mine :

    I try to be nice, to be myself,
    to be, what never seems to
    be enough

    You think you know me, or that
    you can read me well
    but you got the wrong facts

    Maybe you should look again
    read me from deep within,
    like you really care

    Bother sense, and hold out your hand,
    stretch well to reach my soul
    for there;s a reason why you feel like
    you are all alone

    it lays beyond the way, you act with others,
    it lays in the fact that you never really bother

    to find the key .