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by Larry Chamberlin
however, the technical format for a haiku (as with a senru) is
5 - 7 - 5
your format now is
8 - 9 - 6.
Most of the time we accomplish the sparity of beats by eliminating articles & compressing ideas into ferwer words.
Snow falls, covers land
Then you develop the theme & put the pathos or irony into the third line to seal the nugget.
Try your rewrite in the format & J think you'll like the outcome
by Rania Moallem
I agree with Larry..but let me just talk about the wording? AAAAAMAAAAZINGGG>>AMAZINGG!!
I love how all the members of : Like the flowing river..had absolutely a different idea for the title..
amazing job lizziee
I adore u!
I love your haiku's, they say such beautiful things with so few words you bring nature to life