Comments : Embracing life

  • 12 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Picky stuff:

    but even if *its more
    *its how you deal with it
    while you know *its not true
    ^^^ its = it's

    cause when people starts talking
    cause *its all about how
    ^^^ starts = start

    and you *cant make up their minds
    it *wont matter
    though I *wont ever stop
    ^^^ cant = can't; wont = won't

    Hm, It may hurt a bit
    ^^^ hm = hmm

    but *how more you fight for a true life
    *how stronger you will be
    ^^^ how = the

    even when *your on your own
    ^^^ first your = you're

    but someday you will know who is worth to trust
    ^^^ ? maybe: worthy of trust?

    and people who just tries to fit in
    ^^^ tries = try

    person *itself
    ^^^ use some personal pronoun

    isnt even worth *to be sad about
    ^^^ to be = being

    *ive had a lot of sadness in life
    ^^^ ive = I've

    Now that's out of the way . . . .

    wonderful message said in a very personal & straightforward manner

    We all have our ups and downs
    ... its how you deal with it
    ^^^
    So true, and yet so ignored by people of all ages. Neither joy nor suffering dictate our approach to life, it comes from our conscious choice

    cause when people starts talking
    ... while you know its not true
    and you cant make up their minds
    it wont matter . . . how you stand in life
    ^^^
    same message fleshed out in a specific instance - powerful reinforcement

    Hm, It may hurt a bit
    but how more you fight for a true life
    how stronger you will be
    ^^^
    "thank you for making me a fighter" - C Aguilera

    Well maybe some friends will let you down
    but someday you will know who is worth to trust
    ^^^ this stanza, beginning with this line, seems to go off on a tangent

    and people who just tries to fit in
    by believing every word they hear
    without listening to the story from the person itself
    ^^^
    way off from the opening stanza, how would you tie this issue in to standing on your own, taking personal responsibility?

    These words may sound familiar
    I just hope you all know what Im trying to say
    cause you have to know
    ive had a lot of sadness in life
    though I wont ever stop embracing life.
    ^^^
    And powerful commitment to the original message, good strong finish

    good work here, take care of the typos & grammer and fine tune the middle & it will be great

  • 12 years ago

    by Flynel

    Is it so bad, those mistakes? besides, its and it's is the same..

  • 12 years ago

    by Flynel

    When I have time I will change the mistakes, Thanks for your comment (:

  • 12 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    It's = contraction for it is
    its = possessive pronoun

    The only problem with the mistakes is having people take it seriously. Whether that is important or not to you is not for me to say.

    My personal belief is that with your talent, you should want them to take it seriously.

  • 12 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    It's = contraction for it is
    its = possessive pronoun

    The only problem with the mistakes is having people take it seriously. Whether that is important or not to you is not for me to say.

    My personal belief is that with your talent, you should want them to take it seriously.

  • 12 years ago

    by Flynel

    Yeah okay but its not only about how good you are in english, But what you trying to say to the world.