Comments : By the Blossom Stunned, the Season Caught

  • 6 years ago

    by Narphangu

    I really love this Siby. I opened it, and then I lost power, so I ended up rereading it five or so times... lucky me, I got stuck with such a great poem. :)
    Some of my favorite lines:
    "We were not born in a storm." Simple, and blunt. This statement had me wondering, well, then what were you born in? Who is we? It drew me in perfectly, and knowing you, I was immediately looking forward to some jaw dropping imagery.
    "bundled away and stretching" Contrast. I like it.
    "I gazed blindly and saw only rough spines of bare branches" I would never think to describe a branch as rough, but it seems so accurate. You just added a new word to my tree vocab.
    "I was steeped in winter" I suppose I always think of you as an avid tea drinker, so this was both appropriate and exciting. It brings to mind melting snow, and earthy aromas under frozen wet mulch with tiny seedlings.
    "(For how many months? For how many years?)" made me smile... I couldn't help be reminded of ee cummings anyone lived in a pretty how town.
    "I was shocked to find
    it was raining at all-

    that it had been raining this whole time. "
    Of course I love endings, and this one especially. In comparison to the first line, it makes for an interesting compliment. It's straight forward, again, but it also contrasts with how you weren't born in a storm. Perhaps you live in a rainstorm of a different nature.
    Anywho.
    Midnight ramblings.
    Loved it.

  • 6 years ago

    by Britt

    I've read this poem many times and am trying to think of a way to appropriately comment. The only thing I can think of is how amazing your words are. Your poetry tells such a vivid and intriguing story, and when you break up its by bits, all I can do is allow the beauty of those words to sink in. Every time I read this poem I get a new feeling, a new thought, a new idea from it. You're an inspiration.

  • 6 years ago

    by Britt

    Congrats on your win!

  • 6 years ago

    by silvershoes

    Wow, this is breath-taking. Reminds me of Jeff... funny how love can fall into your lap and it takes a while to realize it's there looking up at you with big puppy dog eyes :)

    "and fought their way to breath"

    ^ did you mean "breathe" ?

    Lovely write per usual.

  • 6 years ago

    by Aureus Argentum

    This poem is beautiful.
    Although, I'll be really honest,

    When I read

    "(For how many months? For how many years?)"

    It created an unnecessary pause for me, and I think the poem reads better without that line. Just my opinion.

    Beautiful poem!

  • 6 years ago

    by Narphangu

    Congrats, Sibby!