Comments : Time

  • 12 years ago

    by nouriguess

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
    GOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    ohhhhhhhh myyyyyyyy goodddddddddddd!!!!
    JESUSSSS CHRISTTTTTT
    Ya elehi!!!!
    soliyotna!!!
    HOLY COW
    I want to wow in all languages!!

    Melpomene I LOVED this!
    what should I say?
    sometimes I find it really hard to leave a comment on a piece of yours because you won't read but nonsense because I become in awe and words leave me and this is just embarrassing!
    I read lots of love poems, but this one.....I don't know what to say...you should feature this! I'm gonna nominate the next week for I used all of my votes!! :(
    and it better wins because what I have read is a miracle!

    Too many times
    I brushed springs
    foliage from my skin.
    ^^^^
    I reaaaallllllyyy feell inspired
    I reaallly feel like taking my pen and
    write!
    this opening drew me in, right away
    I don't know ...I'm not sure
    but "off my skin" would work better, right?
    I really am unsure, just wanted to point something out, haha.

    It's presence breathed that
    of unnurtured bulbs,
    waterlogged like
    lilies and
    sunken by a coke can
    once home to snails of a
    backyard pond.
    ^^^
    I have never EVER found someone who can use words in a more perfect way than you do!
    a coke can, ha?
    I want to nominate thisssss

    It was only when
    the leaves curved with
    my curves that I
    would find comfort
    in my silence,
    ^^^^
    OMGGGGG
    OMGGGGG
    OMGGGG
    I can't stop omging!
    I cannot help it!
    the first two lines just about gave me chills!
    you pressed the wrong button with this, Mel!

    they'd perch 'pon
    hips, nestle
    behind my ears and
    sprout colours of
    a paint palette.
    ^^^
    SOOOOOOO passionate
    soooo romantic
    and full of emotions, you are to my favorites right away!!

    I'd often ponder why
    you'd carve yourself
    within their stems.
    ^^^
    I'll leave this without ANY comment so that you can KNOW that I was speechless.

    The words,
    small-scripted in Greek,
    those of vulnerable
    sentiments

    written or unwritten
    in a way I'd never known.
    ^^^
    I hate to repeat myself
    and tell you this is amazing
    and wonderful and breathtaking
    but Mel they really were
    and I cannot find any other word
    in English to describe them!
    maybe perfect????

    nooo I've used that too. :P

    --

    You'd spend countless hours
    teaching me the words of
    your language,
    ^^^
    I don't know why you seperated between this and the above....my suggestions would be to remove it or pm me telling me why :P
    well, back to the poem, this stanza felt a bit ..old I mean I've read that many times before and I guess you are so original and your words are original too...but this expression wasn't that new to me. :)

    an hourglass
    tipped 'pon its side
    covered in vine.
    ^^^
    I like it when you say 'pon instead of upon haha
    I don't know why I just like it...:P
    I LOVE it when poets use vine or such in their poems, vine covering an hourglass, something I've never read before in a poem!
    O.R.I.G.I.N.A.L

    --

    You'd often find me,
    garden with a book
    ^^^
    do you know that I didn't know that 'garden' can be a verb???

    monitoring time
    with sticks from an
    old oak, a sundial
    marked with pebbles
    ^^^
    monitoring time is really original and well-placed..and I like the imagery here, so much..

    for you had buried
    my pocket watch
    within sand -
    knowing time as the
    number of breaths we
    would take
    ^^^
    my favorite!!!!!!!
    MY FAVORITEEEE
    if this is nominated and doesnt win I'm gonna GRRRRRRR!!!!! kill my self :P

    and yet

    I still scribble
    roman numerals on your page
    to find you have
    erased them -

    replacing my fears
    with a hand written
    "aioniotiita."

    ^^^^
    loved the usage of this!!!!
    this poem is all about forgetting time, am I right? like he made you forget time! ohhh wow..

    for sure five out of five
    and yeah write with me XD
    great job!

  • 12 years ago

    by nouriguess

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
    GOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    ohhhhhhhh myyyyyyyy goodddddddddddd!!!!
    JESUSSSS CHRISTTTTTT
    Ya elehi!!!!
    soliyotna!!!
    HOLY COW
    I want to wow in all languages!!

    Melpomene I LOVED this!
    what should I say?
    sometimes I find it really hard to leave a comment on a piece of yours because you won't read but nonsense because I become in awe and words leave me and this is just embarrassing!
    I read lots of love poems, but this one.....I don't know what to say...you should feature this! I'm gonna nominate the next week for I used all of my votes!! :(
    and it better wins because what I have read is a miracle!

    Too many times
    I brushed springs
    foliage from my skin.
    ^^^^
    I reaaaallllllyyy feell inspired
    I reaallly feel like taking my pen and
    write!
    this opening drew me in, right away
    I don't know ...I'm not sure
    but "off my skin" would work better, right?
    I really am unsure, just wanted to point something out, haha.

    It's presence breathed that
    of unnurtured bulbs,
    waterlogged like
    lilies and
    sunken by a coke can
    once home to snails of a
    backyard pond.
    ^^^
    I have never EVER found someone who can use words in a more perfect way than you do!
    a coke can, ha?
    I want to nominate thisssss

    It was only when
    the leaves curved with
    my curves that I
    would find comfort
    in my silence,
    ^^^^
    OMGGGGG
    OMGGGGG
    OMGGGG
    I can't stop omging!
    I cannot help it!
    the first two lines just about gave me chills!
    you pressed the wrong button with this, Mel!

    they'd perch 'pon
    hips, nestle
    behind my ears and
    sprout colours of
    a paint palette.
    ^^^
    SOOOOOOO passionate
    soooo romantic
    and full of emotions, you are to my favorites right away!!

    I'd often ponder why
    you'd carve yourself
    within their stems.
    ^^^
    I'll leave this without ANY comment so that you can KNOW that I was speechless.

    The words,
    small-scripted in Greek,
    those of vulnerable
    sentiments

    written or unwritten
    in a way I'd never known.
    ^^^
    I hate to repeat myself
    and tell you this is amazing
    and wonderful and breathtaking
    but Mel they really were
    and I cannot find any other word
    in English to describe them!
    maybe perfect????

    nooo I've used that too. :P

    --

    You'd spend countless hours
    teaching me the words of
    your language,
    ^^^
    I don't know why you seperated between this and the above....my suggestions would be to remove it or pm me telling me why :P
    well, back to the poem, this stanza felt a bit ..old I mean I've read that many times before and I guess you are so original and your words are original too...but this expression wasn't that new to me. :)

    an hourglass
    tipped 'pon its side
    covered in vine.
    ^^^
    I like it when you say 'pon instead of upon haha
    I don't know why I just like it...:P
    I LOVE it when poets use vine or such in their poems, vine covering an hourglass, something I've never read before in a poem!
    O.R.I.G.I.N.A.L

    --

    You'd often find me,
    garden with a book
    ^^^
    do you know that I didn't know that 'garden' can be a verb???

    monitoring time
    with sticks from an
    old oak, a sundial
    marked with pebbles
    ^^^
    monitoring time is really original and well-placed..and I like the imagery here, so much..

    for you had buried
    my pocket watch
    within sand -
    knowing time as the
    number of breaths we
    would take
    ^^^
    my favorite!!!!!!!
    MY FAVORITEEEE
    if this is nominated and doesnt win I'm gonna GRRRRRRR!!!!! kill my self :P

    and yet

    I still scribble
    roman numerals on your page
    to find you have
    erased them -

    replacing my fears
    with a hand written
    "aioniotiita."

    ^^^^
    loved the usage of this!!!!
    this poem is all about forgetting time, am I right? like he made you forget time! ohhh wow..

    for sure five out of five
    and yeah write with me XD
    great job!

  • 12 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    DON'T WORRY NANO I GOT THIS UNDER CONTROL...I NOMINATED IT ALREADY...
    OKAY... I WAS THE FIRST ONE TO SEE THIS SO I AM TAKING ALL THE CREDITS THIS RECIEVES OKAY...:D :D

    WHERE SHOULD I START?OR HOW...
    I CAN'T COPY PASTEEE AND EXPLAIN WHY I LOVED THE WHOLE PIECE BECAUSE IT MIGHT TAKE FOREVER...SO I TOOK OUT MY TOP TOP TOP TOP TO LE TOPS OF BEST...TO STARTTT THIS...

    *DRUMROLL*
    -Calms down-

    all of it was amazing...but i particularly found emotional fondness to these little stanza's...

    It was only when
    the leaves curved with
    my curves that I
    would find comfort
    in my silence,
    ^
    yes! when I think of a curved leave...I think of a dry one...which means fall right? you know cause in fall all the leaves fall down...and are crooked and curved..so here I pondered whether you were speaking of how you find yourself mesmerized by fall..Or whether you are speaking of a certain time that makes you silent..
    Either ways,this was so soft and elegant... like you.

    The words,
    small-scripted in Greek,
    those of vulnerable
    sentiments

    written or unwritten
    in a way I'd never known
    ^
    here I believe you are speaking about your hades :p....
    I love how you use 'small-scripted' here...
    it illustrates how difficult it must have been to understand...the word choice here is quite tastefull specially how you used sentiments..instead of feelings..or emotions..it made it all so much more romantic...

    for you had buried
    my pocket watch
    within sand -
    knowing time as the
    number of breaths we
    would take and yet

    I still scribble
    roman numerals on your page
    to find you have
    erased them -

    * This is most certainly My favorite part..
    So bittersweet.. God.
    I really did not know what to feel here..whether it was heartbreaking,or in fact just the opposite...

    From What I understood I can tell this is about two lovers...and one constantly worries about time and the other one wants to erase it and make the moment last forever...

    I have nothing else to say except that you leave me speechless everytime..

    The more I grow,the more I comprehend your pieces..the more I like them..

    This had such depth,such feeling...

    People will probably talk about how I always nominate your pieces...

    But god,
    they are always..worthy of nominations...

    Love you!;)

  • 11 years ago

    by Yrem Crish

    Wow this is really beautiful..written in beautiful and subtle way. The pulchritude of the imagery drift my mind to read it again and again. Very brilliant penned:))
    ~C

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I can genuinely say this is one of the finest examples of poetry I have read on this site.
    Brilliant.