I have to admit that I'd recommend to change the structure somehow because your poem does not flow very well right now. You might want to think about connecting the verses more, currently it just feels as if sentence after sentence follow, I know that this is your first poem and it's better than what my comment sounds like.
I actually like the message because it is clear and it is shown in the poem. Furthermore are the emotions heartfelt and powerful.
With a bit of editing this poem will be better.