Comments : Love Promises Pain (ghazal)

  • 5 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Oh you are so welcome!!! I am excited to read this lovely gem of a poem!! I do love the ghazal form and you penned it with such beauty and elegance... well done!!

  • 5 years ago

    by Decayed

    That is creative!!

    the GHAZAL first originates from the Jahileya Era in the Arab world (before Islamic Era).. It's an arabic word about love.. romance... it can be about explicit love (.. OR soulful love (pain...torment).

    Mostly, it is written according to meters called (Bahr, singular... Bohour, plural). there are 16 bohour in poetry (as I still remember) and each one has different meters. And the verse in such poems is made up of two parts: Al Sadr (1st part) .. and Al Ajz (2nd part). the final letter in the 2nd part is called Al Rawey.

    The two verses are metered according to pronunciation.. not according to syllables. It's hard to explain because no language has it the same..

    ---- Larry, I like the content a lot.

  • 5 years ago

    by Meme

    Woooow Larry!! You gave the style justice by this piece. Flows in an amazing way, and the wording is perfect :)

    "Ghazal" is one of the most known Arabic poetry styles, used alot by Arabic poets.

  • 5 years ago

    by Lostlove1

    Larry,
    This is such a deep and beautiful poem, the longing for someone you can not have. Each line is alive with emotion as I read...

    Blissful hours yearning for your sweet voice in melody
    ears turn to your bower for the sound of glee tomorrow.

    ^^^A poet?

    Don't cast me away for sake of that ancient Sade marquis
    hands of ice and tongue shall cut you ill foresee tomorrow

    ^^^She belongs to someone else?...

    I could go on and on. The form itself looks tricky and intimidating to me..But You have done it beautifully.

    Write On Larry!

  • 5 years ago

    by Kiko

    You really nailed one of the most difficult forms out there, and you did it using some outstanding language. This has a real authentic feel to it... and the whole poem exudes agony and desperation.

    I just noticed a possible minor error in form, in that I was under the impression you had to work your pen name "into" the last line, rather than tacking it on at the end.

    But either way, you did an admirable job here.

  • 5 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Thanks!
    Some of the literature is vague on whether the name is placed at the end or included. The sources I read cite Agha Shahid Ali as the modern master so I followed his form as to name placement.

  • 5 years ago

    by Kiko

    How's this for an ending?

    Please beguile the world anew, stroll in your garden nightly
    and the Godfather shall slink in your alley tomorrow.

  • 5 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Good one ;-)

  • 5 years ago

    by christopher

    Love it larry my only criticism is that it is melodramatic ovet the top

  • 5 years ago

    by Janna Antal

    What a wonderful read....love the style!!! Thank you

  • 4 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    I've tired to write a ghazal many times but for
    some reason am not successful and admire those
    who do it so well. Liked the read and the emotions this poem brings out...nice!

  • 4 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Ugh.....Larry......i can see why people call you Sir.....it is a sign of respect ....one that has to be earn't......i love this write just amazing.....Sir.