YESSS totally different but awesome. I liked the format it looks good to the eye.

The title is catchy and the wording flows nicely..Good Job bro.

After reading again, lol Tony I now discovered that basically you're as if writing something that represents the end.. the final chapter.

brilliant idea :)

please delete one of 'the' because there is: the the

and the word incent, I didn't know what you mean twith that. You were on the phone, do you mean ancient?

Anyway, dude. Your images are brilliant.

I love what you have done here.

You are writting some kind of novel or something and you have reached the last chapter, but to me it feels as though you have really connected with the characters you have been writing.

What you have been writing has been affecting you.

Awesome with amazing images.

Thousands of soldiers, contaminating the air that feeds me
That little boy whose life means nothing
To the one who smiled inscrutably

and...
pulled the trigger.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What a stanza!!!

Well done

Very nice 5/5

Ummm... Can you say amazing?

You feel like one with this poem, you can see the trigger about to be pulled as the tear escapes the eye. This is such a sad powerful poem.

I love it. One of your best.
5/5

"Feelings rush inside
As the purest water falls from my eyes
Inspiration blocking out the imperfections

Of the real world."

This opening stanza is great. With words such as "purest", "inspiration" and "feelings", you get a sense of acknowledgement. As if the persona is succumbing to this final installment; they are aware and confident. The idea that thoughts of what's to come, "inspiration", helps to block out the true brutality of what's happening is quite a beautiful image.

"Thousands of soldiers, contaminating the air that feeds me
That little boy whose life means nothing
To the one who smiled inscrutably

and...
pulled the trigger."

I absolutely love the stark contrast between this stanza and the first. It's so dark, twisted and horrible. The use of the word "contaminating" is perfect here, as it brings images of disease, of a nightmare that spreads with wildfire which cannot be outrun. Plus the image of that little boy, who surely faces death, along with the image of the one who pulled the trigger - very effective. I wasn't entirely sure if "the one who smiled inscrutably and pulled the trigger" was referring to another little boy, who a soldier (thought I suppose in some places they could be one and the same). Either way, I it's effective, though I took it to mean a little boy also pulled the trigger, which I think is the most effective scenario; it really kicks you, makes you feel a kind of pain, relating to how these little boys must have felt.

"I sit - the tearing ripples
through my broken heart, like
the blood of the innocent covers

The concrete canvas."

Ugh, I can't even describe how hauntingly beautiful yet disturbing this image is. I feel the heart is the one vital organ we have that allows us to be compassionate, but it can also break and crumble, and reflect disaster around us. The use of the word "canvas" is also particularly effective because it makes the reader think of artwork, a bloody, ruined masterpiece.

"With my trembling hands , I escape reality
Disappear...
into the powerful written word , typing...

One last time."

This was a beautiful ending, it almost joins with the last stanza - the written word, typing stories, it all relates to a kind of artwork. Just a teeny tiny little nitpick: you don't need spaces before the comma. This may just be a typing error, but thought I'd point it out.

Awesome job. c:

I like it so much, it resembles the end as Abed says and the flow is perfect ! : 3
well done
5/5

Aww this poem is really different and powerful. It was sad, but interesting... there was something in your words that I really liked.

This part was amazingly written:

"I sit - the tearing ripples
through my broken heart, like
the blood of the innocent covers"

I really loved the ending as well. I also like how crying was consistent throughout the poem, it showed the true sadness the person is feeling.

This is a different poem than what I usually have read from you so great job with this!

Aawwww just perfect

It's amazing the flow
I loved every bit

5/5 from me sweetie(:

OMG!!! I love it.

The first few lines were amazing "As the purest water falls from my eyes" wow that was just so powerful !

You wrote it in a way that is gradually building the idea you wanted readers to get. The wording and feeling behind this piece are just so true.

Keep on writing like this :)

This is a very powerful and moving piece. I think you have found your niche.

For critique: I would delete the words "that feeds me," since that interrupts the flow and is not vital to the poem.

All in all, a masterful job here!!

This is really awesome

Dear...This is what I was telling you about. Expanding your word choice or your word skills is always a good thing, this way you are expressing your complex emotions through your writing.

I'm glad you really take it this way, Tony.

I'm so happy for you...I can now see a big change in your style, a better improvement, to say the least.

Good job!

I am quite glad to see you try something new and what fascinated me even more is the fact, that though this is new to you the poem still turned out so very well!

I think that your words are very powerful and they underline the emotions caused by reading this poem so much.

The only thing I didn't like too much is the length of the lines, since some are way longer than others, but for your first try definately well done!

This was awesome, I loved it!! Seriously, for trying something new you did an amazing job, I saw touches of myself here LOL, with the reference to canvas and soldiers :)

But the flow was perfect, and the wording was simple enough without being too simple but it wasn't over the top which worked well.

I liked the layout and think that it worked well

A really good piece Tony
xxxx

I love this poem a lot, Tony. There are many reasons, and since I have to eat I will make this comment short and simple. :)

This poem flowed effortlessly and the wording was simple and stunning. :3

I loved each stanza more and more as I continued to read. The imagery was amazing, I nearly started crying!

Great job, once again. Please do continue to amaze me with your wonderful poetry. (:

Wow... Powerful in few words.
Amazing emotion.
Can't wait for the next part.

5/5

-Heather

You are great poet and inspire me to write more poems in the future and in the present i hope i will reach the goal to be as good as you

You deffo changed your style of writting, and although I love all your poems this one is deffo one of your best. I really like it :)

Brilliant and powerful piece!