I think it should be became instead of become since everything else is in the past in the following line.

" stopped, my ears become deaf"

Other than that I can't find anything else. :)

Thank you for you chek me!
I will correct the mistake!:)

Steven:)

Liked the read. I also liked your title a lot as its different.

5/5

Ur title cought my attention, well written:)
I liked it:)

Thank you!:)

This was very vivid to me. I was drawn in by the title! I love the dark and abstract imagery you create, you have a lot of sadness that seems to follow you and it brings your voice into a different and unique path.

Liked this a lot- especially giving such life to this line "The shivers blink and want blood" and then you question who will hear you? Provoking, good job!

Thank you for your commenting and reading!
I really happy you liked it!

Very nice imagery and emotion i'd say a lil bit more emotion would be nice but hey it's your poem

Thank you for your advice!I will try take in more emotion:)

This is a very unique and curious poem. Good job. :) The title is what drew me in. :)

Thank you for reading and commenting!!!

A very unique poem with a eye catching title

Wow sad and sooo strong ......
congrats 4 writting such a poem
love it....:)
good job steven 5/5

This is really sad but beautiful poem. The scheme and the message were neat and clearly stated. Over all well-penned. Keep always writing. God bless you.

Really sad poem very well written :)

Awesome poem :)

I like the tittle:) and the poem:)