Lovely poem, another perfect example of an Allegory. Would have liked to have said more, but the symbolic interpretation eludes my nimble brain, so I will not even try. Maybe Yaki can. Ha! ha! loved it!
Just a thought on the grammatical correctness of the last 2 lines:
Really what I did was change the noun to "I" and verb from "were" to "stood," to keep the internal rhyme.
-Would that I could is a bit overused, and implies something I don't really mean.
I could stand a little bit taller after all (But will I and do I actually want to?)
'Little bit' has a mini-internal rhyme as well, versus "a tad bit"
I have to subjugate my argument to a "wisegeek". But, was I far off on my interpretation of the Allegory! Ha! ha!
Never learnt "subjunctive mood"...as so correctly stated in the article above:
"Many foreign-born speakers find it difficult to grasp the concept of a subjunctive mood in English".
(I wish some of you "wisegeeks" can help me with my "non-flowing" poem, and rhyming.)
I liked the poem, a unique love verse for a yummy apple. Had me laughing for a whole 2-3 minutes. I think it was classy, and well done, probably could have drawn more laughs in the humor section. Our master heistman, Mr. Goofstastik who stole one of your poems, may have been tempted to take this one too, if he likes apples.
all of me finds this clever,
here with my proper thoughts.
just imagine, jut imagine all the things this apple could mean. from just being what you are saying it is.. because honestly I don't see anything wrong with writing about an apple you can't reach if anything is really creative.
but its not just that.
this poem should be titled "infinite"
buahahahhahahahahah.... because really,
to me, this could be about someone wanting someone really bad but not being able to get them.
then the "if I stood taller" omg, it even makes a good metaphor for someone being below someone else's level like socially and there for they can't be together...and so the person is wishing he/she was in a better position
damn, it also could be about a particular goal or dream, how you do all you can but just can't seem to reach it..
it could be a problem wanting to be resolved too, but then..damn. you can't..
Okay, I'm stopping now
Starting to sound like lonely soul over here.
Great write as usual Fet-Sai-Monz.
5 years ago
by Moonlit Candles
I thought this was a great poem. Found it to express feelings of laughter yet you could see just how annoyed the girl was cause of her height. The imagery and all was very nicely done. Nice write. :)
5 years ago
Not at all. OMG Jane that was hilarious. The end was something I wouldn't have expected.
At first, I thought you were going to talk about Adam and Eve, but then...
wait, this is not really about an apple.
lol, since this is in the 'love' section then it is probably about your lover. One Tip: You should never be taller than a man!
Agree it is cutely worded. Not sure if it is for a love or just a fun, humorous poem from an apple lover. I am now convinced that it is the latter, for the love of an apple. ha! ha! Dare not interpret it here.
Brilliant! Another powerfull piece of yours! I enjoyed the reading till my teeth got sunk in my skin. A poem strongly pointed to the heart. If I were the judge I'll keep you as the "all time top poet". That's why I chose you as one of my favorite author.