Comments : Boston Haiku

  • 11 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Oh beautifull, deep, creative, and definitely reviving! I love your word choice, I love the title!
    You come up with some new stuff sibsib!

    I loved this, it gave me this good feeling and really nice view inside my head.

    well done, side note ? what's with poems lately and suns lol (good sign)

    5/xxx

  • 11 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Sibs,

    Nice to see you inspired by recent trips. I loved this little haiku, it held a lot more depth than I'm used to reading with one. You managed to get a lot of information into one small poem which is what the form is all about but I really loved how you guided the reader with the sun. To me I imagined the sun on the graveyard, then as it slowly moves over the top to a grassy patch somewhere then to the flowers. Although I'm sure your intention was to have your reader follow your eyes it just seemed like I could see the light hitting all these locations one after and other. This piece reminded me of the idea of new life, birth, reincarnation even. Death and then something beautiful coming from it.

    Interesting piece as usual
    -Mel

  • 11 years ago

    by Edward D Zurovec

    The Sun surely does not want to stay to long in a rotten stoned graveyard, so leaping along she avoids the void of its Death; nourishing seeds of rebirth. I like the Hope in this Haiku.
    Peace and Blessings

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    There is great imagery in this haiku, what I like about haikus is because you are limited with the amount of words, you have to make sure each one counts.

    To me I get the following thoughts from this,
    There is a great juxtaposition in the first line.
    The sun is all powerful and was worshipped for many century's as a god, the rotting symbolises dying leading to death. The end of life. Gravestones are our symbolic gestures to remember the people who have died. Without sun there is no life. So in line one you have the beginning of life, dying and a symbol of death.
    Line 2,
    I love how you chose the word leaping, I would imagine as the sun travels the light or shadows would move across the graveyard, hitting the gravestones would give the impression of light/shadows leaping, rather slowly but leaping.
    Looking deeper leaping again conflicts with the image of a graveyard. Leaping suggests full of life and energy whilst again the graveyard represents death.
    Line 3 is the most interesting.
    You have shown that life goes on, around all these symbols of the end we have a symbolic image of love (a flower) in bloom. It shows the life cycle. Again looking a little deeper you could say that the sun sees the grave stones as a useless effigy in lifes grand cycle, it moves from them to the blooms. The sun will always be there (in our life time and many many years after that) New life will always bloom, the gravestones would have long since rotted away.

    great poem. very very clever.