Comments : My Evergreen

  • 5 years ago

    by Kumar kainth

    Wonderful your imaginary world,

  • 5 years ago

    by Rihanna

    Great poem darl
    Good read

    5/5! X

  • 5 years ago

    by Derf K

    Enjoyed much your lyrical flow.
    Hope you read more of my poems, when you can, of course. Posted a new one today, 'Poems Past.'

  • 5 years ago

    by Angel

    This was a great read i like it :)

  • 5 years ago

    by sun spots

    This poem says to me paradise, and then paradise lost. Its a fact of life that a lot of natural beauty is lost to mans progress. For me this poem speaks that, that's if of course i have understood it correctly.

  • 5 years ago

    by Joseph Boadi

    This is just wow.great poem.i like the diction

  • 5 years ago

    by Joseph Boadi

    This is just wow.great poem.i like the diction

  • 5 years ago

    by yourstaraid

    Nice one

  • 5 years ago

    by PETER EDWARDS

    I was sitting here eating my breakfast as I was reading this poem. Result? Cold breakfast as I simply couldn't stop reading this poem again and again. Wow! Wow! Wow!
    My socks have been very truly 'knocked off' this morning in sheer delight.
    What a beautiful poem!
    You have surpassed yourself with this one.

  • 5 years ago

    by Max

    This is Soo nice i like the flow and word choice , the story in it is nice too
    5/5 is my rate keep on =)

  • 5 years ago

    by Rohit Sapra

    To be honest sounds very painful and I guess it is because you have described it with such precise words which are full of emotions.

  • 5 years ago

    by CathyButterflyJC

    WOW, you really took my breath away, I feel shivers, that was outstanding! 100/100 100/100

  • 5 years ago

    by Veamm

    Greetings.

    I like your starting 2 stanzas, You describe what world is and its surrounding and your love towards it. The world usage such as Love, Beautiful, Kisses and warmth gave this piece the nicest touch. So emotional.

    Long years ago, I fell in love
    In the most beautiful creature I ever had;
    She was my queen, my comely mundane,
    Who caress me with love; and harnessed my dream...

    I was enticed to her Goddess realm;
    As she rendered her body before my hand,
    She warmth me with her gimped kisses;
    As the ocean breeze licked into my lips,
    I closed my eyes and was not amiss
    The harmony of song swayed by the leaves...

    The next 2 stanzas made the whole structure of your poem and how your world change and the evolving. And, the fact that these kind of events are the common happenings in our own world. I like your story telling. Well done.

    Keep it up
    I gave it a 5

  • 5 years ago

    by Ole Carsten

    I feel the force of nature in it, would like some more direct links to love of or in nature bur nice a five from me

  • 5 years ago

    by Innocuous Zitella

    It makes me think how will the world looks like few years from now. great poem :)

  • 5 years ago

    by Reaper

    This was UNBELIEVABLE! Very Very Good! :) 5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Areeba

    OMG! your poem was juz simply awesome... i like the lyrical flow...n the depth it has.... the first paragraph is so powerful..it gets us in the mood of reading it all..so well written..keep it up =) a sure 5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Areeba

    OMG! your poem was juz simply awesome... i like the lyrical flow...n the depth it has.... the first paragraph is so powerful..it gets us in the mood of reading it all..so well written..keep it up =) a sure 5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by L

    The words in parenthesis are the words that I feel fit the context better. :)

    "Long years ago, I fell in love
    In(WITH) the most beautiful creature I ever had;
    She was my queen, my comely mundane,
    Who caress(CARESSED) me with love; and harnessed my dream..."

    --- I think it should be "with" instead of "in" on the second line of the first paragraph.
    Caress should be caressed in past tense since you are talking about the past.

    "I was enticed to her Goddess realm;
    As she rendered her body before my hand,
    She warmth(WARMED) me with her gimped kisses;
    As the ocean breeze licked into my lips,
    I closed my eyes and was not amiss
    The harmony of song swayed by the leaves..."

    -- Warmth is a noun and in the third sentence seems like you need a verb so It should be warmed instead of warmth.

    The word amiss.. I'm not sure how you are using it in the sentence.. as in not near?
    perhaps you meant amidst.. and amidst.

    Amidst mean surrounded by or in the middle of
    Amiss mean not quiet right or inappropriate or out of place.

    "Now, the sensuality of greediness,
    Yet, exploiting the innocent of her riches;
    Beasts rape her in cruelty,
    Intruding the shadows of inequity;
    Craving in pulchritude of her flesh
    And devours (DEVOURING) her soul into wickedness..."

    ---I think should be devouring since you used craving in the previous line.

    This one was a good story about nature, I like the word pulchritude and it's the first time I hear it. So thanks I learnt a new word. Keep up the good work.

    It was a fun and a good piece.

  • 5 years ago

    by Ashish

    Its awesome.... :) :) no comments... :) :)