Comments : Void

  • 5 years ago

    by Jenni

    Your straightforwardness is really heartbreaking, I think that even if you want to be strong for them and make sure that they do not get too worried about how you really feel, you feel the urge to share you true feelings nonetheless. And obviously the best way to do that is to write, which they might not read, but you also know that there is this other family you have(on here), who will gladly help you stand and hopefully help for your true smile to return.

    Andrea, I really admire you, I enjoy your poems and I feel grateful and lucky for knowing someone like you. If someone deserves to be happy, it's you!

  • 5 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    'Only the ones who "get it"
    will see my screams in
    syllables-'

    Oh God...

  • 5 years ago

    by Max

    This is fantastic poem
    It have a sad tone and i find it pretty good

    "that depression has
    kidnapped my inner glow."
    love the imagery in these lines
    its like depression took all the hope u have
    also i think glow is a metaphor for hope
    really admirable poem by you
    good write =)

  • 5 years ago

    by L

    ---it must be tough, and I really admire you.
    You let your emotions within your poetry sometimes they are vague but they are there. And sometimes, just like this one, they are pretty straightforward.

    This is sad

  • 5 years ago

    by Ms Happiness

    Andrea first of all love you<3

    "Andrea, I really admire you, I enjoy your poems and I feel grateful and lucky for knowing someone like you. If someone deserves to be happy, it's you! "
    ^^
    I too admire you a lot, and I completely agree with Jenni, you deserve happiness.. Letting your feelings out in writing, makes anyone feel a bit better. You'll have all the support here, cuz we all care.( I guess someone needs a bag full of M&Ms )

    Hugs<3:)

  • 5 years ago

    by Wicked Ways

    My truest of feelings
    are very hard to
    overlook these days,
    I can't deny the fact
    that depression has
    kidnapped my inner glow.

    I love this poem, its very tragic. . . you're just letting it all out but everyone will see you smiling,....it is very heartbreaking poem but none the less a good one, nicely penned.

  • 5 years ago

    by Xanthe

    As already stated, the straightforwardness of this piece made the emotion more effective. Instead of strewing this with amazing metaphors and stunning adjectives, the simplicity made this stand out, without being too blunt and it maintained a 'poetic' pace and atmosphere. Well done.
    Just a suggestion:
    "This is a poem
    that family won't
    see, for I can't
    tell them it exists."
    ---I think 'my' before 'family' would make this stanza stronger. I know, I know; it will ruin the layout and line break, but I feel it will read better that way.
    Other than that, I see nothing else to comment critically. Beautiful piece. Keep it up
    -X

  • 5 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Even the strongest person eventually breaks
    down. It's alright to show your emotions
    you can only be strong for so long.
    That smile is nothing but hidden tear.
    You are an amazing woman Andrea, it's alright to let i out whether on paper or in words. You are not alone, we all need a shoulder to lean on. Awesome poem

  • 5 years ago

    by L

    I was looking for this:

    "Let yourself be happy,
    Spread your happiness
    around the field of flowers
    that surround your path

    Let your rivers cry
    whenever they want,
    but never take all
    the current on your own.

    Allow whatever of your dark ink
    to disperse everywhere
    except within your heart"

    Thanks, and please don't take all the current/pressure on your own. you are an awesome and admirable person. Smile when you feel it, cry too when it's needed. But you know that even if we can do much, that you can count on us.

  • 5 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Andrea, I hope I can be somewhat encouraging and let you know, the fact that you can still smile says depression hasn't totally taken over. Depressed people are bitter and angry and lack any motivation, hate their life, start sucking at their job....you still are one of the sweetest, goofiest, and most fun people I know and I can just tell that through the internet!

    I enjoyed this piece because it was a cry out to your poets family and we are all here for you <3

  • 5 years ago

    by Decayed

    Gosh, what a surprising end, Andrea.. That is one beautiful piece, masking heaps of melancholic emotions.

  • 5 years ago

    by Lioness

    OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

    What can I say about this piece. So heartbreaking and OH MY!!! I can so relate to the words.

    The idea that your family won't see this poem, it reminds me of all of my poems and how much I don't want them to see it. I don't know what it is but I think for me it's the shame of what I'm feeling and going through and embarrassment. I think if they knew what we were feeling, they would not look at us the same way.

    The ending was unbelievable. The idea that people who get you see the hurt, the pain and those who don't see this fake smile that you put on. To them your smile is real.

    An awesome write hun LOVED IT COMPLETELY!!!

    x

  • 5 years ago

    by Lioness

    I keep coming back to this poem hun, I simply adore it. I so love the honesty and rawness of it. My heart breaks every time I read it.

    You're amazing hun

    x

  • 5 years ago

    by Innocent Fairy

    I have definitely been there, great write5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    I know exactly how you feel, i never let family/friends read my poetry... i feel self-conscious about my feelings and afraid they will make fun of them or put me into therapy, when really writing is my therapy. good poem 5/5