Your straightforwardness is really heartbreaking, I think that even if you want to be strong for them and make sure that they do not get too worried about how you really feel, you feel the urge to share you true feelings nonetheless. And obviously the best way to do that is to write, which they might not read, but you also know that there is this other family you have(on here), who will gladly help you stand and hopefully help for your true smile to return.
Andrea, I really admire you, I enjoy your poems and I feel grateful and lucky for knowing someone like you. If someone deserves to be happy, it's you!
'Only the ones who "get it"
will see my screams in
5 years ago
This is fantastic poem
It have a sad tone and i find it pretty good
"that depression has
kidnapped my inner glow."
love the imagery in these lines
its like depression took all the hope u have
also i think glow is a metaphor for hope
really admirable poem by you
good write =)
5 years ago
---it must be tough, and I really admire you.
You let your emotions within your poetry sometimes they are vague but they are there. And sometimes, just like this one, they are pretty straightforward.
This is sad
5 years ago
by Ms Happiness
Andrea first of all love you<3
"Andrea, I really admire you, I enjoy your poems and I feel grateful and lucky for knowing someone like you. If someone deserves to be happy, it's you! "
I too admire you a lot, and I completely agree with Jenni, you deserve happiness.. Letting your feelings out in writing, makes anyone feel a bit better. You'll have all the support here, cuz we all care.( I guess someone needs a bag full of M&Ms )
As already stated, the straightforwardness of this piece made the emotion more effective. Instead of strewing this with amazing metaphors and stunning adjectives, the simplicity made this stand out, without being too blunt and it maintained a 'poetic' pace and atmosphere. Well done.
Just a suggestion:
"This is a poem
that family won't
see, for I can't
tell them it exists."
---I think 'my' before 'family' would make this stanza stronger. I know, I know; it will ruin the layout and line break, but I feel it will read better that way.
Other than that, I see nothing else to comment critically. Beautiful piece. Keep it up
Even the strongest person eventually breaks
down. It's alright to show your emotions
you can only be strong for so long.
That smile is nothing but hidden tear.
You are an amazing woman Andrea, it's alright to let i out whether on paper or in words. You are not alone, we all need a shoulder to lean on. Awesome poem
5 years ago
I was looking for this:
"Let yourself be happy,
Spread your happiness
around the field of flowers
that surround your path
Let your rivers cry
whenever they want,
but never take all
the current on your own.
Allow whatever of your dark ink
to disperse everywhere
except within your heart"
Thanks, and please don't take all the current/pressure on your own. you are an awesome and admirable person. Smile when you feel it, cry too when it's needed. But you know that even if we can do much, that you can count on us.
Andrea, I hope I can be somewhat encouraging and let you know, the fact that you can still smile says depression hasn't totally taken over. Depressed people are bitter and angry and lack any motivation, hate their life, start sucking at their job....you still are one of the sweetest, goofiest, and most fun people I know and I can just tell that through the internet!
I enjoyed this piece because it was a cry out to your poets family and we are all here for you <3
5 years ago
Gosh, what a surprising end, Andrea.. That is one beautiful piece, masking heaps of melancholic emotions.
What can I say about this piece. So heartbreaking and OH MY!!! I can so relate to the words.
The idea that your family won't see this poem, it reminds me of all of my poems and how much I don't want them to see it. I don't know what it is but I think for me it's the shame of what I'm feeling and going through and embarrassment. I think if they knew what we were feeling, they would not look at us the same way.
The ending was unbelievable. The idea that people who get you see the hurt, the pain and those who don't see this fake smile that you put on. To them your smile is real.
I know exactly how you feel, i never let family/friends read my poetry... i feel self-conscious about my feelings and afraid they will make fun of them or put me into therapy, when really writing is my therapy. good poem 5/5