Comments : Endings

  • 11 years ago

    by Karla

    Beautiful. Figment of the past is stellar. Loved it.

  • 11 years ago

    by Chloe DeWitt

    I wish that i'd seen it coming when i was in that position...it hurts looking back and knowing that it was my last. </3

  • 11 years ago

    by average thoughts

    Sad, evry word is like a precious diamond fell from ur eyes..

  • 11 years ago

    by East Poetry

    Excellent poem, I cant help but wonder what happened to her, his hands being moist leads me to believe he's holding her as she dies, perhaps she was shot or stabbed? I almost thought at the very ending is was going to reveal that he stabbed her just to through in a huge twist, but what I instead gather is that he loves her so much an she is passing away in his arms, very sad.

    The rhym and flow was spot on, that really made me enjoy this poem even more. there is only one spot I would suggest editing for better flow. the 7th line in in the first half felt to me like it had one to many syllables and could use a very slight modification.

    But now he was like stranger, the love had left her eyes

    I would take out the word "was" and change it to look like this.

    But now he's like a stranger, the love had left her eyes

    Yet another AMAZING POEM Peter!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Rebecca Bentley

    That last line was a brilliant way to end this poem. its brilliant, as is all nous work. Well done 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Rebecca Bentley

    I still love this poem :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    This is really good Peter, so simple yet a great captivating piece, it flows really well thanks to your unforced rhyming, tinged with sadness but emotionally charged.

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    The couplet of this poem is brilliant - it really packs an emotional punch. Well done Peter and all the best,
    Ben

    • 8 years ago

      by PETER EDWARDS

      Many thanks Ben for your comment.

      As they say, 'it is better to have loved and lost, than not to of loved at all', but when this happens in life though, you wish to God that the opposite was true.
      Glad you liked it.

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Very powerful and emotion filled. I guess we would all rather end a relationship than it being ended for us so we hold out hope.