Comments : Faulty Lies

  • 5 years ago

    by Wild flower

    Awww thats a really sad poem, but you did a great job in writing this poem.

  • 5 years ago

    by Meme

    Ohhh god Liz, never think you are not worth it!!

    This piece speaks pure sadness, and it truely shows the inner battle you seem to fight with yourself. Its hard to fight others, but definitely harder to go against yourself.

    Amazing .. xx

  • 5 years ago

    by Karla

    Liz, you are worth of everything because you are a soul so rare. How I love your heart.
    /.........../
    (= ` : ` =)... Liz,
    (")____(")

    /............/
    (= ^ : ^ =)You
    (")_____(")

    /.........../
    (= > . < =)are
    (")____(")

    /........./
    (= ; . ; =)such
    (")___(")

    /........./
    (= - . - =)an
    (")___(")

    /............/
    (= @ . @ =)incredible
    (")_____(")

    /.........../
    (= ¬ .¬ =)woman!
    (")____(")

    /.........../
    (= ; . ; =)It is an honour
    (")____(")

    /.........../
    (= * . * =)... To read your pieces!
    (")____(")

    • 5 years ago

      by Lioness

      :">

      That is the cutest thing ever!!! Thanks Karla!
      Much love xoxoxo

      Thanks everyone it means a lot.

      This is somethign I needed to write because it deos represent how I feel.

      x

  • 5 years ago

    by L

    Liz,

    This poem is pure sadness, I think I have an idea of what this poem is about, and you are right it's not within your hands neither on someone elses, but you are worthy. You are.

    Ps I like karla's comment so much!!

  • 5 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    When you write like this. My heart reaches out to you.
    Liz. You are worth it, you are amazingly talented, beautiful and a great friend.

    love always.
    X

  • 5 years ago

    by Decayed

    You always pour your heart out on each page you write. This is a beautiful piece... and who isn't sure that you're worth everything, my friend? ;)

  • 5 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Never doubt yourself not even for a minute
    You are worth everything. What does it
    matter what others think, you have to believe in yourself. Sometimes in life
    we become our own woerse enemy.
    You are an amazing person , stay true to
    yourself

  • 5 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Request: it is not really a typo, so I request that you put 'a' between 'like' and 'traitor' in the fifth line on the first stanza. It would make the flow go a whole lot better for me - I kind of stumbled over that...

    Oh, Liz. You are worth it, so much. I could tell that just through this website. I have been meaning to comment on this since yesterday, but my eyes were so tired that I couldn't. I had to rejuvenate first...this is one of those poems where I wish I knew the background story because it is so interesting to me.

    I love the title of this poem, because it tells me so many things. One of them being that you tried to cover it up, but it wasn't successful. Also, it tells me that you cannot lie very well :) I hate lying, even though I do it sometimes. It makes me feel like poo.

    'I know the fault does not
    lie within my hands,
    nor anyone else's,
    but I can't help but
    feel like traitor
    against my own skin.'

    ^ I wonder what happened here. I have felt this way before - I have felt dirty, and completely like crap because I couldn't get the guilt out of my head. I know it sounds gross, but sometimes I wished that I could just cut the memories out of my brain - it would have made it so much easier. This is a very good beginning, because it lets the reader know that something has happened that shouldn't have - it also makes them ponder on what it is.

    'What will he think of
    me when he finds out
    the truth I have been
    trying to conceal from
    him this whole time?'

    ^ I wonder who 'he' is. Is it your husband? Your father? God? Another friend? There are so many possibilities...however, the first one makes more sense to me, yet not. We all have dark secrets that we want no one to know and you have expressed that you want no one to know because you are afraid that he will judge you.

    'How can I expect him
    to understand my pain
    when I can't even begin to
    understand it myself?'

    ^ If this person really loves you, or really cares for you, then he will try to understand your pain. If he doesn't, well shame on him in my opinion. I hate being judged, because it is usually wrong, and what makes it even worse is when it is by someone I know very well, and love. It feels like I am almost being betrayed :(

    'that I'm not worth it.'

    ^ Wrong. So wrong. So completely wrong, that I just want to take this fragment, and cut it into tiny little pieces and then put them through a shredder so that I will never have to read this again. Sorry if that was a little too violent - I have a tendency to overreact sometimes when I think something is absurd.

    Liz, I don't know what you did, but I know that you are a very sweet person who is loved by many. I think that if you explain to him what was going on, he would definitely understand. This is more of a pep talk than criticism, but I really, really got into this poem.

    Excellent
    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Loved it, I like the spacing out of your poem, it is almost like it is layed out as they way it came into your head in the thoughts.

    I think you picked a good title, it didnt actually give a lot away about your poem, making you want to read it.

    I really liked this stanza :

    What will he think of
    me when he finds out
    the truth I have been
    trying to conceal from
    him this whole time?

    - I related tot his and I think you have worded it well. It is something which I think a lot of people can relate to.

    I also liked :

    The veil has now become
    transparent and he will
    soon be able to judge
    me like everyone else
    does,

    and that scares me.

    - I liked this because again I can relate to it, but I also like the way you seperated " and that scares me" because it adds so much more power to that fear you are describing.

    Over all I think you done a good job and I enjoyed it, well done.

  • 5 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    My heart aches for you. Sometimes we hide secrets from the ones we love to either protect them or because we are just so embarrassed by them we are afraid they will never see us the same way again... like they will judge us. However, if he truly loves you then he will look back the imperfections and will love you even more.

    You are so talented and this is just a beautiful, heartfelt piece... You can really tell you poured your heart out with every word.

  • 5 years ago

    by Xanthe

    I love how you write about feelings felt everyday by everyone one way or another in their lives. It is so admirable.
    This seems so simple, when in fact, it holds so much meaning and depth that is simply overlooked. And that's what makes it all the more relatable.
    You make the reader connect and think/reflect. I love that.
    There's nothing much I can say, but I absolutely love this piece. Keep writing :)

  • 5 years ago

    by Hellon

    I get the feeling you wrote this in a rush..spur of the moment thing...wanting to get it all down before anyone came home and "caught"you? Just a feeling..

    I know the fault does not
    lie within my hands,
    nor anyone else's,
    but I can't help but
    feel like traitor
    against my own skin.

    ^^^
    Line 4 starts and ends with but so maybe eliminate one of them...I think feel like "a traitor would be better perhaps?

    My flushed cheeks become the
    enemy and I know that
    I am embarrassed and enraged
    at the same time,
    ^^^

    Too many words here I feel...

    There is no need for my in line one...

    Flushed cheeks, the enemy I recognise
    embarrassment, enragement, familiar foes

    though only towards myself.
    ^^^^

    This line could disappear if you go with these suggestions.

    What will he think of
    me when he finds out
    the truth I have been
    trying to conceal from
    him this whole time?

    How can I expect him
    to understand my pain
    when I can't even begin to
    understand it myself?

    The veil has now become
    transparent and he will
    soon be able to judge
    me like everyone else
    does,

    and that scares me.

    Because I know he'll
    wake up one day, only
    to realise,

    that I'm not worth it

    The rest of it is quite tragic if it's fact...people/friends/family/partners should all be there to support no matter how bad circumstances are.

  • 5 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    Too many times have I had this feeling. Hang in there, beautiful.