This poem breaks my heart but makes me fall in love all at once. What a beautifully twisted poem!

I love how you're playing around with structure, where it seems like there is none of here. It's different and I think it really allows you to express what you want to and gives a really nice pace for the reader. Typically I read your poems a little rushed, a little overwhelmed (the emotion does it to me).. but this one gave a definite somber tone and flow.

The images are beyond this world from the beginning to very end. I was about to pick parts, but, ya know, it's the whole thing. I would love to be in your mind just once and see things from your point. I feel like you see things so much more beautifully than I ever could. lol

You nailed this piece with the prompt. This is perhaps one of the biggest fears that a lot of people could have but aren't willing to be vulnerable enough to allow themselves to admit to it, let alone write the feelings you were able to pen here. It felt like you had years of hurt that you needed to release, and you did so so beautifully.

"I often ask myself if it was my fear
of you that made me bitter and did it
ever travel from my lips, to his heart,
through the air, to you?"

This is one of my favorite parts.. the thought behind it is just beautiful poetry. I also love that you used fear here, made it obvious and imminent.

Taking the first part of that stanza:
"I guess I saw the way your eyes could go from
blue to grey quicker than the man I love
left me"

This broke my heart.. instant tears every time I read this poem. It's beautiful but too sad. lol. You do have gorgeous, peculiar eyes and I can see now how that could frustrate you when getting those compliments. It all makes sense now. :)

This was such a brilliant poem. I just don't know how you do it, and nail it, every single time.

I wish I could give some insight or critical advice, but it is one of those poem that I can't find anything much to say about, only enjoy. It ticks so many boxes: it's emotional, original, descriptive, insightful. Perhaps one of my favourites from you I've read in a long while, great work!

"
I'm not sure if you've noticed but
my eyes have been a destination for
shy compliments, they're as blue as the
harbour my boat once sailed'

Aaw babygirl. I need, I need a moment.

This is too beautiful, and when ish comes back and I get
The wireless fixed up I'll leave you a decent comment...

This hits hard... I know exactly who you are talking about..
(I guess)

Me..I hate to pick this one apart because I feel it's very personal to you and perhaps you've had it stored in the back of your mind for a long time waiting for release so...I'll just highlight the lines that grabbed my attention (although the all did really)

Your first stanza just grabbed the reader in but...these three words just got to me...

, only on Thursdays...made me think your father or some figure that you looked up to wasn't around as much as you wanted him to be?

I met a boy years later and he asked why
my skin shriveled at the sight of beer bottles,
and as a man he question why my nose
cowered at the scent. Since then I have been
breathing in the bruises that you left. I
deserted dresses for armour and
forgot what it was you once meant

^^^

I doubt they were physical bruises but...bruises none the less and...had a lsting effect?

I'm not sure if you've noticed but
my eyes have been a destination for
shy compliments, they're as blue as the
harbour my boat once sailed, but they're
more yours than mine and my mind hates
those compliments because of you.

^^^

Your eyes are the same colour and you resent the fact that...every time you get a complement....it brings back a memory?

I won't comment on the last stanza...they seem quite self explanitory...

I hate to say I love a poem when it's relating to unhappiness..ecpecially a childhood memory but...you just express things so well...

I love when poems make me think and actually smile when I read them, and this is one that absolutely did. I love how you made the words flow, for me, it was dancing through my head.

My favorite part..
"I guess I saw the way your eyes could go from
blue to grey quicker than the man I love
left me and I often ask myself if it was my fear
of you that made me bitter and did it
ever travel from my lips, to his heart,
through the air, to you?"

I adore it.

I soo wish I knew how you write beautiful pieces each & every time.

Never knew you could take something such as freckles and use them as a metaphor, the opening stanza just blew me away.

I love how you mentioned the Sydney Harbor bridge, I know we had just spoke of it the other day, so gorgeous! You are beyond lucky to live so close to it.

Such a beautifully sad piece, you packed so much emotion into this, perhaps one of the most emotional ones I've read from you.

You nailed this little prompt, I adore this beyond words :)

Mel....I'm in complete awe right now..really, to say that is an understatement. As I was beginning to read, my heart wasn't focused on the incredible structure of this piece, but I got so wrapped up in the story. And it broke me down :( I love my dad dearly, but man this reminded me of how he treated my mother and how I was always scared for her. I couldn't help but tear up because just as you have described, my mom now fears men. She is open to dating but can't go about it, because of exactly this! Loving someone like her ex husband. Ughh...so heartbreaking. Haven't had a poem move me this way in a long time!

If I were to comment and pick a part this poem I think it'd annoy you actually....because EVERY single metaphor you used in this poem was beyond BRILLIANT....metaphors sometimes can be over used or forced, Mel you made each one flow out and sound so natural, just as if they were normal feelings that you have built up for years.

This is just incredible. I'm so happy its a win, it really deserves that and more!

This has to be one of my very top favorites of yours Mel! You really made me speechless and I can't even begin to say how much your depth touched me...there were so many emotions, so much passion free flowing here, the story is just heart-rending that you tell. That fear at the end seems to pierce my thoughts...I can't even imagine how profound the hurt must be, to try and love someone that has left you like that.

Beautiful beyond measure, your style is just so soulful.. Congrats on the win!! Couldn't think of any reason why this shouldn't be front page :)

First of all, congrats on the win. No doubt if I had read this earlier, I would have nominated it. I'm absolutely floored by how beautifully heartbreaking this is.

First stanza: Absolutely wonderful imagery and metaphors. I assume "only on Thursdays" means that you only got to spend time with him on that day, you cherished that day as a child.

Second: Oh, I won't even gush how much I love everything you've wrote here about. Talking about how he never knew you wanted to be an artist, I feel like he never truly gave you attention, never got to know you well so he didn't know you're dreams... he just kind of let you do things to "busy" yourself... which a lot of parents do. :/ I'm not sure if I'm interpreting that right, but it's how I see it.

I'm going to skip the third stanza because it's just wonderful and I have nothing to comment on it.

Fourth: You have his eyes and you absolutely loath it. Every compliment you get just brings back bitter memories of him.

Fifth: I assume he was a "mean drunk" and when his eyes would change that means you better watch out, all hell is about to break loose.

"quicker than the man I love left me" ... oh, my heart. </3

The rest... oh my god. I have nothing to say but it's just perfection. It's flawless.

I think with children that grow up in an abusive household that is a legitimate fear for them all. Falling in love with someone like their father and having to relive it all over again. It's hard to overcome that fear.

This piece is going straight into my favorites!

Mel, this was one of the poems that made me feel like someone's irrigating my imagination. Vivid.
The best thing about poetry is that when it's beautiful, it's beautiful without any other category like sad or heartbreaking. It's just beautiful, the way it is.

Shine on love,
N.

Just from the poem I could tell this poem was going to have a feeling of sadness. Even
though it was in the sad category, sometimes that isn't a clear representation that the poem is going to draw out the sadness in a reader as well...this poem did.

They say that girls grow up to marry someone like their fathers and I could just see a little girl fighting that notion throughout this piece. Clawing at it and ripping it to shreds just so it doesn't ring true. Such a beautiful way you told this tale...I like the chronological feel you gave to it with the innocence of childhood and how this man impacted your life to the insecurities he instilled in you that you later saw in a lover. I loved how this was all laid out.

This has to be one of the best poems I have read in a long while. You sure did tug on my heartstrings, girl!

Such a heartbreaking memory/experience. You penned it so flawlessly. Congratulations; I can clearly see why this won.