Comments : Poison

  • 5 years ago

    by LostWords

    Typo: gun sails men. *salesmen

    Kid, you are above your age in your thoughts and words. Very impressive.

    I loved the use of questions in the poem. Made the reader think.

    Drink your poison. I'm not drinking it with you.
    ^^
    Woah. That last line was my favorite. It shows how you acknowledge all the nasty things in the world and horrible people but yet you choose not to be apart of it or to become one of them. Very proud of you hun!

    • 5 years ago

      by Alanis

      Thanks lostWords. That comment made my day^^

  • 5 years ago

    by Amy

    Indeed, very powerful poem. I loved it.

    • 5 years ago

      by Alanis

      Thankz Amy^^

  • 5 years ago

    by Amreen

    Wonderful FS... you have created a very dark imagery here and I too would echo on LW's comment that you have written something which is just beyond your age... I loved the part of childrens.. best creativity out there....!!! And You have penned a very inducive piece which needs deep imagination on every stanza...
    I too loved the questioning... and the last stanza was just wonderful...!!!
    Typo: cheeper should be cheaper..:)

    Great work:))

  • 5 years ago

    by The Queen of Spades

    Very dark, but you do dark very well. I completely agree with LostWords in saying that you are above your age in your words, it is truly a gift I hope you keep writing.