Comments : Ash (Haiku)

  • 11 years ago

    by La Reina De Corazones

    I would be mad at you for not elaborating when you used the title to bait me to read it lol but i gotta say it's cute BUT make it LONGER cause it's a poem! :) but i get what you are saying lol

    Queen Ash

  • 11 years ago

    by Steven Croat

    This is a haiku...so it can't be longer.

    Thank you for reading!

  • 11 years ago

    by rock serenade

    Got it a good one loved it ....

  • 11 years ago

    by CathyButterflyJC

    I liked it, great job

  • 11 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Good work.
    However, you are one syllable short on the second line (6 instead of 7).
    Perhaps you can move trees to the end of that line and add one word to the last line (up or out). That would help the flow of ideas as well.

    • 11 years ago

      by Steven Croat

      Thank you!
      I will corect it.
      (I thought that the "ground" is two syllables, so I was wrong...I just learn the English)

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    This is spot on now, 5,7,5

    A great little haiku, gives a new perspective on lifes endless cycle.
    The last line points to hope over circumstance and can be linked to many things, such as a country ravaged after war, or a family that has suffered a loss.

    Great piece.

    • 11 years ago

      by Steven Croat

      Thank you!I am happy to it is right now.

  • 11 years ago

    by Aubrey

    Nice...I like the meaning Behind it:)

  • 10 years ago

    by Lemon

    I love the simplicity of using a haiku- they really get straight to the point. The meaning that I feel behind this is great- even though bad things happen, good things can take their place. Good job :)

  • 9 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Like a phoenix. I like the meaning and the way you penned this. nice job