This relationship is entirely one-sided. Such trauma just to stay in a terrible state! The speaker recognizes it, yet seems to be in stasis - or is there something he is still capable of obtaining (or at least thinks so)?

Excellent depiction of a stifling dominance willingly participated in by the victim. I get the fatalism and refusal to bail out combined with the inscrutable non-justification for continuing.

One suggestion: Presents should be presence.

@.@!!!

I'm liking your dark side and tone Tony :)

The imprint some people leave on our life can be seen as torture,
whether intentional or not?

I liked your word choices, the imagery was dark and of heartache...

"breathing becomes
almost impossible with these
shattered ribs,representing
every promise you ever made."

^^ your analogy for broken promises is brilliant!

The tone here was calm, but sad. This is perfectly written. Great job Tony:)

Firstly, I just want to say I could relate to this poem a lot and it has touched me deeply right now.

Your presents drains the life out
of my lungs,breathing becomes
almost impossible with these
shattered ribs,representing
every promise you ever made.

- I am not going to get too personal here, but for me, this describes exactly how I feel about my abuser. You have created two characters here, one victim who fears the other, the other being this horrid monster who holds this invisible power just by being present.

I find it hard to talk when you leave
me in a state of suffocation, my collar
is shrinking or maybe your hand is
grasping the chain a tiny fraction
more day by day.

- Again, I truly relate to this and you have penned it so well, you have described the siffocation so clearly. I love the insertion of the chain because the chain represents control and torture. Good choice.

I live inside each and every scar
traumatised by every image impaled
at the back of mind, It may not be
visible to the human eye but in my
memory, I live this life every second.

- So so powerful T. Really, you have described the situation but here you are showing the affects it has on the person but not so much what can show outside, it is the things on the inside that torture us still and no one gets to see this.

I really was touched by this and felt very connected to these words. Thanks for sharing and well done.

Your presents drains the life out
of my lungs,breathing becomes
almost impossible with these
shattered ribs,representing
every promise you ever made.

--- Okay, I think in this stanza you meant, drain.. rather than drains.
Because it seems you are referring to presents given by this someone. I got the impression this someone hurt you, beaten you to the point of getting your ribs shattered. As a results this someone believes that giving presents will remedy his acts.

If that is not the case, then it will be " your presence drains"... which will be referring to the presence of a person. Not A present as a gift.

I live inside each and every scar
traumatised by every image impaled
at the back of mind, It may not be
visible to the human eye but in my
memory, I live this life every second.

On this one.. I think it should be traumatized with a Z.

Over all, it seems this person tortured you and even up to today, it's still torturing you.

One the surface, it looks like a sad love story, but when you look deeper into it, it's a venture into the human psyche. Nice work; keep it up!

Powerfull

I can totally understand what you are saying in this piece Tony. I can relate to this so much, I know what it feels when the presence of that somebody can be a torture to you. You feel suffocated emotionally and all the memories and previous moments just makes it harder and harder...

The tone you wrote with was so calm but the emotions were erupting from every verse.

I loved it so much.
Nominated!

Oh wow! Tony you took me to emotions I truly don't wish to think about, but also it touched me... to feel suffocated is a torture beyond torture... great title!

I love the flow within this piece, and when expressing the feelings it just comes out so strong... love this!

I found this difficult t read, Tony, it touched a part of me and while it affected me, a poem that can give a sense of relief to someone while reliving memories is actually a very strong and deep one, that needs to be credited for it's power.

The sad emotion within this piece was not evident at first glance, the anger was, the hurt, betrayal, hate but then it came through on a second read, with the language and darkness being a cover for something more powerful and harder to understand,

I know I am not making much sense here, but what I am trying to say is that this piece is very well written, and hats off to you.

Thank you
x

Hello :)

Ok, for starters: I love the title and how you don't use it in the poem but it is easy to tell that's what you're talking about. Nice use.

I love the rhyme there is in the second line. Intentional or not, it adds something to the poem. The flow is very nice. Flawless really. And the fact that each stanza is a sentence.

"Your presence drains the life out
of my lungs,breathing becomes
almost impossible with these
shattered ribs,representing
every promise you ever made."
^^^^^ definitely one of my favorite stanzas. It's a very strong start and it expresses the conflict and shows pain all in one. Love it.

"I live inside each and every scar
traumatized by every image impaled
at the back of mind, It may not be
visible to the human eye but in my
memory, I live this life every second."
^^^^^ such a great end.... So strong and just... perfect. It truly is perfect.

Ahhh, Tony... your words always touch me in many ways. Being suffocated in that way definitely is all kinds of torture.

Perfectly penned and added to my favorites!

This is a powerful poem . Most of us have felt this way to a degree at one time
Very well written. I would not change a thing

Excellent write Tony!!

I find it hard to talk when you leave
me in a state of suffocation, my collar
is shrinking or maybe your hand is
grasping the chain a tiny fraction
more day by day.

^^ I adored this stanza here....I cant tell you how relateable that is!! To want to say so much but you feel so suffocated and you arent sure if its because of their doing or your own..

The title fits this perfectly...Thats exactly what this feels like. I use to get anxiety attacks and thats what I felt in those moments like my thoughts and my breathless state was complete torture...I feel like this is one of your best pieces yet!!