Wow, I love this.

First stanza: I love the opening with "Finally". It captures the reading in, wondering what you have been waiting for. I think "its self" should be joined to itself. I'm not completely positive on that, though. lol

Second: I love the imagery here. The red walls. I assume this may be like the inside of yourself... the blood inside your own walls....releasing the invisible shackles of maybe your mind?

I like the mention of the hands with sins, because I've always heard the saying "wash your sins away", so that works perfectly here.

Third: The way I interpret this is getting saved? God finally got through to you. I'm probably wrong...lol.

'barley' should be barely.

The ending is very powerful, it wraps the whole piece up perfectly.

Great pen!

Undressed its self to embrace
^ either itself, or it's self

With thunderous fists I transformed
her from recognisable to barley human.
^ barely

Nice attempt with another yet dark piece.
Keep it up :)

This is very powerful, and that last line really drives it home.

Finally- I open my eyes,yet the
world around me has changed,
undressed it's self to embrace
the truth we longed ,but never
searched for.

- I found this very interesting when I read it in the challenge, I couldn't help but wonder why your eyes were closed for so long. This straight away made me use my imagination and think of all the possibilities that could have lead your eyes to remain closed for a long enough period of time to open them and see such changes around you. One of the images I got was of a widow who has lost their partner, so their eyes have actually only been closed over night but when they do open in the morning the whole world has changed like you described.

These red walls contract, demons
release me from invisible shackles.
my hand reflects the sins ,unwashed,
unhealed.

- I like the tone here going into the darkness and mysterious imagination as to what these red walls represent and why you have ended up here being imprisoned by these powers. Hands reflecting sins is very powerful and I can relate to this in different ways than what you are portraying I guess but non the less that line offers an insight to imagine what the person has done.

His voice left a gaping hole in my
memory, and with unspeakable
actions I subconsciously obeyed .

- here shows the power held over the victim and how they become a puppet under the control of their master.

With thunderous fists I transformed
her from recognisable to barely human.

- okay, on a deeper level I do relate to this and find this to be exactly how it workd for an abuser and his victim, to depower them of everything they were and leave them wondering if they are truly alive or human. Very powerful T and great word choice for the challenge.

With thunderous fists I transformed
my actions following newtons law-

struck down by the hand of God.

- excellent use of the repitition required for the challenge, you fitted it in perfect and it worked very well to create the biggest impact of their power. I like the mention of Newtons Law, very interesting approach to add into your poem of power and also God, it made me think of how some people think they are God and almighty in their power.

You can take many different angles from this poem but it is very powerful and very dark and deeply mysterious.

I do have one suggestion - only a suggestion though. I think your poem is on a high scale of power, and do not feel like your title holds the same power. I think Thunderous Fists would match the power of the poem for your title and draw more people in. Just an opinion though as I am drawn in by eye catching titles.

But great job on the challenge. well done

Yay you changed the title... what a title it is too! still love this piece! x

I love the way this opens, like truth in the world is no longer disguised (undressed) when you (finally) open your eyes. Turns out to be dark thing indeed, eloquently violent.

I love the way this opens, like truth in the world is no longer disguised (undressed) when you (finally) open your eyes. Turns out to be dark thing indeed, eloquently violent.

Again with the twisted killer-rapist whatever this man is. I wonder if every time you write a piece you're penning as the same character/speaker/killer. It's very fascinating. I usually fear reading things like these.

"His voice left a gaping hole in my
memory, and with unspeakable
actions I subconsciously obeyed ."

Here, I believe that you mean the speaker hears voices or is psychotic/schizophrenic or something. Getting into this person's conscious mind is so interesting. And creepy.

A dark and detailed piece really well written. 5/5