Comments : Skeleton

  • 11 years ago

    by Wild flower

    This is really amazing. I love it!!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Rusheena

    This was another favorite. This is very chilling, and I cringed, when I was reading this (which is a good thing) because I felt like I was in the poem. Those last two stanza are very powerful; you feel helpless, even though you already are, since you're only reading a tragic story. Congrats on your honorable mention, Tony. It was well deserved.

  • 11 years ago

    by ah satan 666

    @.@!!!

    I've gotta be honest Tony... I'm liking your dark side :)

    The imagery is creative and chilling... also I liked your word choices...

    " She was a walking skeleton yet I
    saw normality, her bruises told a
    story but the true horror was
    beneath the surface among
    the hidden torture."

    ^^ this stanza is very dark and deep... Well penned kiddo :)

  • 11 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    This is one great poem. I was glued to each word, intrigued by your imagination..Awesome

  • 11 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Have you ever saw something
    But never truly seen it?.

    ^ Excellent way to start, really intriguing.

    I walk past a window every night
    the cries of a young girl rips into
    my soul, inch by inch slowly crawling
    closer to my eyes.

    ^ I love the description here. It really is well done. Made me see the window and hear a girl crying or screaming, though thats a scene I'm all too familure with.

    I saw her once walking in chains of
    death - draped in darkness. her
    right foot hardly touching dusty
    sidewalks.

    ^ This stanza says a lot for not being very long, I like it. Again, very descriptive.

    She was a walking skeleton yet I
    saw normality, her bruises told a
    story but the true horror was
    beneath the surface among
    the hidden torture.

    ^ I like how you are telling the story both from your perspective and a true narrator's. It's a good touch and adds more depth.

    I walk past the window waiting for
    sound waves to strike my ear,
    like a bullet it consumed me,
    there was nothing

    ^ Very simple, but it does the job it needs to by helping end the piece almost.

    All it would have taken is a word.
    now fate has risen, forever
    she will be trapped
    a skinless corps.

    ^ Stunning, left me thinking and feeling. I really like this piece. You don't know how wonderful it is. You definately have a skill for dark pieces. My favorite skill displayed is keeping a voice in the piece that is nonobjective. Fantastic write

  • 11 years ago

    by WW

    This poem blew me away, i read it over several times. The imagery give me bittersweet chills! damn good job/cheers/bravo 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    When I read this, I was drawn the darkness and on reading it again, the imagery is striking and I feel like I need to be reading further into it, I feel a need to know the whole story, because it was gripping and interesting.

    You took the prompt and put a spin on it, I would not have expected this from you, but I love it nonetheless.

    :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Chelsey

    This is beyond creepy.

    However the story was EXCELLENT...Skinless corps was an awesome ending line.

    Wish I could say more about this honestly, but all there is to say is I love the story here, I love the darkness, I loved the structure.

    Brilliant.

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Since this is under dark poetry, I'm not sure whether to read this literally or not. But either way, I love it. If I were to read this literally, I'd say there's a lot of hyperbole; it makes it dramatic. And I can see a girl fallen into poverty. hunger. Hence the 'skeleton'. And it's sad how the persona says he only sees 'normality'. Perhaps, in this society, these people are prevalent.

    In the first stanza, 'saw' should be seen, I think. And corpse is spelled with an 'e'.?

    Great write!

  • 11 years ago

    by Maydee

    This is an excellent poem. You are a very good writer and I am very impressed.

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    Love.

    I have a few different interpretations on this piece, however I don't have the time to really go into too much detail.

    I love you being the narrator, telling us exactly what you see..I feel like I'm right beside you, seeing everything you see.

    Powerful piece.

  • 10 years ago

    by Meme

    Such a dark and intriguing piece. First of all I like the title it makes a statement without telling much about the piece. And you made the whole poem revolve around what the title may hint, sometimes we fail to see what lies beneath. So powerful and deep and the word choice suited the emotions expressed in the piece. Well done!

  • 10 years ago

    by WintersAngel

    This is awesomeness!!

  • 10 years ago

    by Marcy Lewis

    Wow. I have a new appreciation for you, honestly. I love the poetry that you write as an outsider. It's completely brilliant, and totally like a signature style for you. I'm so familiar with it now, I probably could ID your poem in a lineup. Very good.

    She was a walking skeleton yet I
    saw normality, her bruises told a
    story but the true horror was
    beneath the surface among
    the hidden torture.

    That was awesome. Knowing that the emotional damage was visible because of the physical, visible damage was really smart and perceptive of you/the speaker.

    Like this piece a lot.

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Brilliant, dark imagery in this, Tony. Your work really is very original, and always very much obviously yours, if that makes sense.