It's a nice poem but with a rather self-defeating theme! I think you could add these last two lines and make it into a 5/5 'winner'!

'But like the phoenix from the ashes,
I will rise again'!

I really liked the flow. My favorite line would have to be:

Do you see that shadow?
It hides from the disapproving eyes of the sun.

It's epic. Love love love it!!!!