Comments : Their first Dance (Shadorma)

  • 2 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Interesting form and thanks for the explanation...have to try this! I also like your choice of words here for it creates the mood, sets the tone of the heart and the end:

    Determined
    to taste ambiguity
    of newborn orchids.

    ^^It gives a sense of freshness, the first time for something new and just to taste it in every way makes the heart wanting and yearning for it-the anticipation here is given without giving too much! Nicely done!

  • 2 years ago

    by Britt

    This is beautiful! I'm a big fan of forms when done in a refreshing way, and that's exactly what this was. I absolutely loved the use of the orchids here. So beautiful! I don't have time for a proper comment but will come back when I can! <3

  • 2 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello,

    this is a new form to me. The word dance on the screen. Freshness and mesmorising they move and breath a sweet perfect picture.

    Well done on the win.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 2 years ago

    by Acoustic Odyssey

    There's always available unsure beauty to one's first dance. Beautiful work!

  • 2 years ago

    by Koan

    Great form!!! Congrats on the win!!!

  • 2 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Dear Samia,

    A well deserved win on this lovely, romantic poem.

    The first dance is a magical one indeed, where the senses are overwhelmed by this new partner in your arms:)

    Much love,

    Ingrid xx

  • 2 years ago

    by GB

    ^^^ Blushing!

    Thank you very much for all of these kind words.

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Samia,
    This is a wonderful piece and fully deserved of the front page - true poetry.
    All the very best,
    Ben

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Samia,
    This is a wonderful piece and fully deserved of the front page - true poetry.
    All the very best,
    Ben

  • 1 year ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Judging comment:

    This is beautiful. Despite the form being a relatively short one, Samia manages to pack in such overwhelming emotion, depth and beauty into this poem. The scene of a couples first dance after promising each other forever really stands out here and is filled with such romance and care.

    I adore the second sestet, it captures the new beginning of these lovers so elegantly and the tone of the overall poem is inspiring and hopeful, really captivating the feelings of the beginning of such a new and incredible journey.

    The way it was phrased also leaves an open mystery of what the future has planned, which I always enjoy more than wrapping up with something specific happening.

    Beautiful.