Comments : A Dame in Shame (monotetra)

  • 2 years ago

    by Koan

    This is truly a depressing exhale...Im very moved! I have never tried this form or heard of it
    Although your brilliant approach make this an easy form, it isnt! ~smiles~ You have fallowed the rules precisely and yet made it so poetic! Only real talents can do that... Now that I read this a few times I find myself wondering if the word "lame" should be changed to "tame" What do you think?

    • 2 years ago

      by Meena Krish

      Hey Koan thanks for the comment yes I thought about that too, but that would change the meaning of what I intended it to be..

  • 2 years ago

    by Cindy

    Excellent job on this form.

  • 2 years ago

    by alka mendiratta

    Congratulations on the win !!!!!

  • 2 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    My sub-judge comment:
    Fabulous use of the form and the word choice as well. There's not a single forced rhyme, no departure from substance to inject mechanical coupling. (Although the dash in line two should NOT be there). The poem evokes a Grizabella - like image, the fallen, aged glamour queen immersed in misery, plagued by memories which, in retrospect, now are seen to lead inevitably to her current doom.