Hi Darren,

Nice to read your work again.

This poem speaks of a lot of internal suffering, a torment that goes unnoticed, perhaps?

Any fool can be a plaything
reaching new lows
some might say deservedly
every dream stupid, my mystery.

^^
This reminds me of the sad behaviour of some young women who throw themselves away and most especially in the virtual world. No pride, no dignity and no brains, or so it seems....sad.

Well done, well written!

All the best,

Ingrid
ps: thank you for your kind comment to my latest poem:)

I love the last stanza of this piece, Darren, and the whole poem is very clever and well written. As Ingrid says, lovely to see new work from you, as you are a very talented writer.
All the very best,
Ben

Carnivorous natural phenomenon
agitates my well being
not whispered
cries blissfully, then waits
ever bigger, then bigger still
reaching once vital organs.

^ This stanza seems to be troubling from the inside out. I love how you used carnivorous. Self harm, yourself but it is coming from the inside, and it seems to grow bigger as each day passes. Depression will do that to us, sad but true, it always starts from the inside.

Kind thoughts and bibles
immune to secret suffering
silent foetus of death
serving a final meal

^ This is an interesting stanza, it seems to say that you are suffering alone and in silence, while kind words do affect how we feel, it always comes back, and there is no one not even a higher power that can truly help you but you. It always feels like a slow death that even wants to put us out of our misery. No one can see how we feel inside unless we tell someone.

My swimming mind stagnates
yearning to drown logical thinking

Any fool can be a plaything
reaching new lows
some might say deservedly
every dream stupid, my mystery.

^ I love this ending. When we are affected with mental illness, are logical mind goes put the window and we keep thinking about that one issue. We often keep dreams to ourselves, as we try to figure out what the meaning is. Overall this holds a darkness and sadness that a lot of people can relate to. 5/5

Darren
The sadness can be felt while reading your verse.

My swimming mind stagnates
yearning to drown logical thinking

I love these 2lines very good imagery.

Nice job!
Take care Cindy

Oh Darren.............

You truly smacked down a dark one, didn't you?

I flipping love this, not much I can say than what others have said before me... this piece is just brilliant.

your word choices are perfect! love this!!!

I really relate to this feeling that many of us feel a need to hide in certain company ..if you know what I mean

5>>>>>>>>>>>>