Comments : Cinders

  • 1 year ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    There is no shame is trying to salvage something that has been so good. Of course, as you allude, sometimes when you stir up a dying fire you take the risk of burning bridges.

    Wonderful poem, Jane.

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Beautiful

  • 1 year ago

    by Darren

    Judges comment

    I am a sucker for small pieces that have a real punch to them. This was posted in the 'Dark' section but could easily be posted in 'Sad' or 'poems about life' even 'humorous'.
    There are so many ways this poem could be interpreted, which is the sign of a good piece of writing. So short yet so imaginative. My only gripe would be the 'I's'
    Are the last four needed? The narration perspective was set in line 1.
    Despite this grumble it still gets my 4 this week. 4 points.

  • 1 year ago

    by Saerelune

    Hi there, I've been on a hiatus, but now I'm back and posting some of my old comments while I was judging:

    "This poem says it all in merely 8 lines, which I think is a true achievement considering the depth of the emotion which is described. The first line was immediately clear with the word "panicked", but poetic flare was added with the fire. At first I was bothered with so many lines starting with "I", it makes the poem feel a bit static, like it's just a sum of events. But as I read it over and over again I think it kind of goes with the state of mind when one is retrieving a memory and analyzing it. Still I might have preferred it to be more subtle, though. It disrupts the flow a bit. Other than that, it's still a great poem with evocative metaphors. There's certainly darkness embedded in it, with banshees and fear ruling the poem. I can truly sense the state of panic here despite the syntax being quite static. The ending lines wrap it all nicely together, showing the halt of reminiscing, showing regret. The contrast is sharp and nicely done, while still keeping the connecting factor between two stanzas by mentioning the fire. Nice poem."