Comments : Hollow Victory (Senryu)

  • 1 year ago

    by GB

    Oh, glad to see you posting :)
    You need to fix "with" in the second line.

    This sounds intense, it sent a chill down my spine, reminds me of the Arsenicalism when it's quietly achieved.

    Very interesting, Ingrid.

    • 1 year ago

      by Ingrid de Klerck

      Thank you, Samia!

      Yes, no better way to poison a relationship than to use silence to torture the other person.

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hello Ingrid.

    Absolutely. When I am angry, all I want is to scream and shout and have something back! Nothing works better than if the other person simply ignores me, lol!

    Take care and great to hear from you again,

    Ben

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Ingrid, wow. This is a very good piece and most definitely no better way to 'kill' any kind of relationship than with the silent treatment, nobody likes it.

    Em

  • 1 year ago

    by BlueJay

    This is incredible, I am especially captivated by the in-depth sincerity you managed to hold on to within a mere three lines and a handful of words. Because GB mentioned what this reminds them of, I want to point out it reminds me of Speak by Laurie halse Anderson.

    Amazingly penned. Heartbreakingly described.

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    Beautifully done! So much said in so few words.

  • 1 year ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Thank you everybody! :)

  • 1 year ago

    by shadow

    It takes a ton of talent to create so much with so little words. Really amazing!

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello my dear,

    'The silent treatment' this was taught to me at a young age. Passive aggressive behaviour is far more damaging than verbal aggression. The later is like a physical punch in the stomach; a blow that will most likely fade. The former, like ingesting poison, a slow lingering torture that can cause, as you state ' her love to slowly die'

    The sinister feeling in this poem highlights that resolution is the answer, otherwise there are only losers.

    Very well done.

    ((Hugs))

    Michael xx

  • 11 months ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging Comment

    Ingrid!!!!!

    You brought it home this week for me dear lady!

    Give the one you love the "Silent Treatment" speaks on high levels that words can not.... Sometimes being silent express the hurt and anger far better than words ever could....

    A senryu worthy of being highlighted...

    I really adore the last line all on its own, it expresses the message with more depth and ties in nicely with the message. Very powerful piece!!

  • 7 months ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Ingrid without meaning to have any puns in my comment your poem speaks volumes, some much said in so few lines and something everyone has lived and can recognise.

    Epic as always!

    Ben