It sounds like before the healing comes the first remembering. These memories lay hidden in the shadows; left there meant to become lost. The trouble is they're never achieve this until they're understood for what they are: the past and the doorway to a new beginning.
First let me just say that I for one am glad you didn't wait until October - the site needs your poetry, Andrea. I am often the same: I say to myself, that's it, I'm not writing for a good long while! But the urge gets too much, doesn't it? Especially when you realise you need to.
I will let you into a secret. I quite literally had 'pains that pricked my skin' a few years back - they kept me awake at night and I became so worried. It turned out it was anxiety which had caused them and they, in turn, had got worse through worrying about them! Life is full of cruel ironies, isn't it?
Andrea, a very sad beautiful write-it's ok to seek help to be able to understand what you are feeling. Sometimes it's something that happens that seems so innocent that triggers emotions you have had buried for a very long time. You've always been the person who helps others, now it's your turn and it really is ok. Take care- hugs-Brenda
Dear Andrea, I can so relate to this write. It's ok to feel this way and one day when you are ready you will let go of what's hidden inside. It took me years and years and finally I broke down. It's like a ton of bricks came of my chest. I can breathe. The pain will always be there and I came to terms with it not to mention the forgiveness. Cry if you have to, feel sad, get angry this is about you. That's why you keep on writing. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You are strong and you are a survivor and adored by so many others including myself. Take care and hugs