Comments : Twas written in the stars (Tanka)

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Michael,

    This is beautiful. I do not yet know much about tanka (I will look at your link in a minute) but I know that they are regarded as 'feminine' forms and are ancient Japanese poems that were often written for ladies of the court or some such. Also that uppercase letters and punctuation should be kept to a minimum (if at all) and the subject is now non-specific.
    This is a lovely, warm and romantic tanka that would have graced the courts of any country in any time.

    Take care,

    Ben

    ps 'moonlight' I think.

    • 1 year ago

      by - Mr. Darcy

      Thanks Ben. The link is rather excellent - I have added it to my bookmarks.

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Michael, this is a brilliant tanka. I still need to be more clued up on then like many other forms and as I said to Ben when he wrote his first that I have tried them before and just discarded them.

    A truly magical piece of love.

    Em

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    Michael, such a lovely write. I really liked the form you used also. So much said in so few lines, really nice-

  • 1 year ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Hello Sir Michael,

    I love the title of this, very catchy that the readers won't let this skip their eyes...A perfect Tanka with 5-7-5-7-7 syllables and unforced message.
    Great write Sir.
    A 5/5 for this

    Gel

  • 1 year ago

    by Koan

    So sweet! Loved it!!!!!

  • 1 year ago

    by Phil

    Perfect tanka my friend

  • 1 year ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Dear Michael,

    What a delightful Tanka you have penned here!
    The words set the mood and yes, sometimes a new beginning can be 'in the air' and we just know it will happen.

    Well done in this romantic verse!

    Take care,

    (((hugs))) xx Ingrid

  • 1 year ago

    by Kate Hicks

    Beautifully written, loved it.

  • 1 year ago

    by ether

    Wow this is truely beautiful. Congratulations on the well deserved win.

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Congratulations on the win my baldy bud :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    Michael, Congratulations on a well deserved win. Beautiful Tanka.

  • 1 year ago

    by Naughtymouse

    This is amazing I love it! Congratulations on the win definitely should be on the front page :))

  • 1 year ago

    by saggi

    Love it.each line has given me goose bumps.touched and just deeply touched.

  • 1 year ago

    by innocent chalera

    Amazing

  • 1 year ago

    by Trish

    Brilliant

  • 1 year ago

    by Augustus Black

    Hello,

    I believe this write has been written with great passion of love. There's a great connection of love with the nature. The link of love and nature is always very dramatic to read and I adore this a lot.

    This fantastic little poem is a symbol of upcoming true love, song coming from the depth of the heart.

    Congratulation for this great win.

    • 1 year ago

      by - Mr. Darcy

      Thank you, for your comment. It's appreciated.

  • 1 year ago

    by BlueJay

    Judging Comment:

    The imagery in this work is phenomenal and the simplicity of it actually works really well in comparison to the lack of capitalizations. The punctuation is elaborately done when considering the rest of the piece which is interesting and gives this piece a hint of much needed dimension without over doing it or losing sight of the author's intentions. Absolutely wonderful use of the format - tankas always seem so difficult to me so when I see one that makes them seem as effortless as this I can't help but be amazed. All in all, this piece is stunning!

  • 1 year ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging Comment

    This Tanka made me gasp!

    Love is in the stars this week people!

    What a lovely and well written tanka..
    I like the way it flows and how graceful it is... just pretty!

  • 11 months ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Holy.freakin.crap.

    Michael me old fruit this is amazing.... I love Tanka formed poetry because the restrictions are just right, especially for love poetry, not as short as a haiku but not as long and waffle like as other forms and when the word choice is as perfect as this it results in a piece of writing that is inspiring.

    I love how convey the emotions in here with delicate imagery and it flows on point.

    A great write my friend, should be proud of this one.

    Ben, other Ben, Earthman,

    • 11 months ago

      by - Mr. Darcy

      Okay, Ben, no, the other Ben (Earthman) It is now my turn to choke (with laughter) on my 100th Quality Street. I swear I will look like one by the end of today!

      Thanks for the comment - I really appreciate it. Merry Christmas!

  • 11 months ago

    by Em

    Well, Michael it'll be your own fault for not sharing :P lol